Mondays Course in Miracles

Before you take action ask yourself, 

"Is this the most loving thing I could do?"

"Am I doing this with love?"

"What would love do?"

You are love! 

Treat yourself lovingly in all that you do!

Blessings

Virginia

Come join my community. Sign up is on the top right! My December free coaching gifts have filled up. I am however still doing my daily drawings and I will put you on the waiting list. Christmas lasts all year!

Teenagers kinda rock. Thank you Christmas

Years and years ago a dear friend told me to watch for Christmas.

I finally got it!

 Christmas happens in moments.

Christmas is never about the presents or the giving.

Christmas is about the receiving.

God gives!

Today in the midst of an angry teenager vs mom showdown I got Christmas.

That angry teen helped someone with no applause. He shovelled a neighbors driveway .

Feeling proud.

Single mommahood is only for the brave.

Blessed God made me brave.

Single Mom Thriving:Your Feelings Don't Define You.

The  'experts' of the interwebs claim single moms are consumed with sadness and loneliness during the holidays.

Please don't believe them.  Don't make the media's expectation your reality.

Yes!  Strong feelings come up this time of year for everyone.

They are only feelings. All feelings come and go. We just need to sit with the feeling without judging it. Then  it will pass in less than 2 minutes.

When we deny it, fight it, or judge it, the feeling stays.

Last week it hit me that my daughter in college would only be home for 12 days during her winter break. This is also a year my children spend Christmas Eve and Christmas morning with their dad.  A big whirl of sadness landed inside of me.

Immediately I berated myself with nasty self talk,

       "She is doing really amazingly cool things in between semesters. You should be happy for her."
        "You have been splitting Chistmases with their dad since forever. Get over it."
        "It is Christmas time. Be joyful."

The whirl of sadness didn't go away. It got worse. I started feeling victimized,sorry for myself , cranky and irritable.

Luckily I was able to pull myself back. I stopped and let the feeling of sadness be there.

I miss my daughter.

I didn't judge myself or stuff down the sad and the missing because I was "supposed' to be happy. I simply felt it.

 And just like that it floated on by.

A few moments of sadness does NOT mean I am a single mom consumed with sadness.

A few moments of sadness means I am a human.

The same goes with feeling lonely. Everyone on the planet feels lonely sometimes.

Loneliness has nothing to do with being a single mom.

Loneliness is a result of you not knowing you.

Robert Holden often says that if something is missing in your life it is probably you.

When I feel lonely I simply ask myself what I need.

The answer is usually time with myself.

Sometimes after time with myself it means reaching out to a friend. Sometimes time with myself is all it takes to make the loneliness float by.

Sadness and loneliness are not single mom attributes.

Sadness and loneliness just may be a part of the Christmas experience.

When we feel whatever comes up, Love comes come back.

Single moms rock!

Blessings,

Virginia

How Well Do You Receive?

Giving and receiving are part of the same energy. One cannot exist without the other. We need to strive for an equal balance of both. This time of year that balance can be tricky.

Enjoy,

 Receive the gifts that are here.

Blessings,

Virginia

Journal Writing Prompts: 25 Questions to Ask Yourself.

I encourage all of my clients to keep a journal. Many get stuck because they don't know what to write. So here is a list of qustions to ask yourself next time you grab a notebook and a pen.


1.What do you want?

2.What do you really really want?

3.Why do you want it?

4.If you had this thing how would you feel?

5.What is the most loving thing someone has done for you?What is the most loving thing you have done for someone else?

6. What would be a perfect day for you? Describe it using all of your senses.

7.Is there something you might regret not doing by the end of your life?

8.What were you like as a small child?

9.What are some of your favorite childhood memories?

10.If you had a magic wand, what would you magically change in your life?

11.What is something you do everyday?

12.What would you tell your ten year younger self?

13.What is an important lesson you have learned?

14.What is a blessing you received from your mother?

15.What is a blessing you received from your father?

16.Who do you admire and why?

17.Imagine yourself next year at this time, what does your life look like?

18.Five years from now?

19.Ten years from now?

20.What did you want to grow up to be when you were a child?

21.What was your first best friend like?

22. Who was your favorite teacher and why?

23. What is amazing in your life right now?

24. What are 100 things in your life that you are grateful for?

25. If you could only use positive attributes, how would you describe yourself?


What questions would you ask yourself? Let me know in the comments.

Blessings,

Virginia

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Mondays Course In Miracles; Five Easy Ways to Be The Light

We are entering into the darkest days of the year. 

It is also the happiest time of the year.

Or so they say.

Not totally sure who the 'they' are. 

Yet I am sure of this:

You carry the light. And your light matters!

The world needs your light. 

Here are some ideas to shine.

Smile at everyone you meet. 

Make eye contact as you smile.

While getting ready for your day think of someone and send them a prayer.

Do something special for the ones you share your day to day with. The day to day loves are usually the ones we forget.

Do something for you! You matter. Loving you is the key to loving everyone.

Only light is real.

Blessings,

Virginia

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Mondays Course In Miracles

Sunday's Blessings. Here is my prayer

I got a cold.

I felt like crap.

 I received the amazing gifts of a sleep, chicken noodlen soup and  two  days of laying low.

Then I remembered.

I once could not receive this.

I remember being quite sick with two babes to care for. I put up gates turned on a movie and grabbed a bucket.

I remember being sick with  three babes to care for.  From the couch I told my kids how to make dinner. We all slept in the living room.

Here is my prayer.

Dear Every Single Mom on the planet.

You got thts! Your kids are blessed. You and they will do amazing things! God loves you!





  

Your Body Knows. Listen

I could feel it coming on.

A scratchy throat.

A few too many sneezes.

A headache.

The exhaustion.

Normally I would just push through.

Today I tuned in.

My body screamed rest.

So I did.

I took a three plus hour nap.

Our bodies know.  We just have to listen.

Toddlers know this.

When did we adults become so unaware of what our bodies need?

Probably the time we were seeking someone else's approval.

Blessings,
 Virginia
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Feng Shui Friday:Finally Tackling The One Thing!

Yesterday as I was reaching for something in my office closet a box filled with pictures toppled to the floor.

I quickly grabbed them all up. Shoved them back into the box. Put the box back on the shelf and walked away.

But there was a nudge. A nudge that said," Go through them Gin Gin"

Any nudge that calls me by Dad's pet name for me makes me act.

I wrote a while back about my hoarding of pictures. You can read it here.

Yes! Some clutter is good but I really wanted to get a hold on all of these pictures.

Soo.. I decided to make them into Christmas presents. I know. I probably should have decided that back in October. I only have a few short weeks.

Regardless I began.

Beginning is all we can do.

I went through the box. I made piles.

 I marvelled at the life my children and I created. I felt happy

I only threw this much away.

I became glad that my dad too made Christmas a time to share his hoarding of pictures. Me as a newborn.

I still have to go through these to make my Christmas presents.

Clearing out is fun!

Blessings!
Virginia

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Single Mom Thriving; Ten Ways NOT to Overspend This Holiday Season

One year it took me months to pay off the Christmas I put on a credit card. Those months of scrimping just to pay off things my children rarely even used totally bummed me out. I vowed never to do it again.

Let me be clear here. My overspending wasn't because my children were begging for stuff. My overspending wasn't because my children needed all of those things.

I overspent in an atttempt to make myself feel good.

I  believed that the more presents under the tree equated to my success as a single mom.

Since that year, I have done these things to curb my overspending.

1. Before any Christmas shopping, I check in with myself. I make lists of everything I have done for and given to my children throughout the year.
     Single mom sister with a list like that one, we could just skip the entire shopping. HA!


2.  I  ask my children what they remember about last Christmas.  They never ever remember the presents.
      I once asked if they remembered what they received from Santa. The answers were vague.

                                     The presents aren't the gifts of Christmas.

3. I make a budget. I put the allocated cash in an envelope. When the cash is gone. I am done.
          I am not against using credit cards. I just don't trust myself at Christmas.

4. Before I buy anything I ask if the recipient will love it?  And will I love giving it to him or her?
          Giving and receiving are the same.

5. I like giving experiences. Each year I give each of my children a coupon for a lunch with mom.
          As a single mom one on one time with your children is a gift for both of you.

6. I shop at thrift stores,consignment shops, Goodwill and Salvation Army.
         I once filled an entire dress up chest for a mere few dollars. My children used it for years!

7. I like to be creative. One year I gave my teenagers the toy they loved best when they were toddlers.           My store was the box in the basement. They loved it.

8. I always give my children things they need. Santa Claus is helping mom out when he gives children socks, underwear and school supplies.

9. I make things for teachers, coaches, mail carriers, friends and extended family.

10.  I remind myself... as I shop... as I wrap... as I put under the tree..as they unwrap....

                           Christmas has been happening all year in this home.
     
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I'm giving gifts every day in December!

Many blessings,
Virginia

Watch On Wednesday; Stick to Your Goals Even If It Is The Holiday Season

It is so easy to let the Holiday Cheer snatch your momentum in achieving your goals. Here are some ways to stay on track.

Remember, you matter everytime of year!

Please join my email community by signing up on the right. For the month of December I will be giving out a gift everyday.

Blessings,

Virginia

Monday A Course In Miracles

Thank you!

Happy Thanksgiving,

As I write here my three kiddos are washing all of the dishes from the feast I made.

Thank you!

We played our annual Thanksgiving touch football game. I, at 53, scored a touchdown.

Thank you!

All three babes under the same roof.

Thank you!

There is so much food leftover!

Thank you!

I am overflowing with love.

Thank you!

Tomorrow we get our Christmas Tree.

Thank you!

My kiddos are waiting on me to start a board game marathon night.

Thank you!

You are reading this.

Thank you!

Many blessings to you! 

Praying your thank yous are abundant!

Virginia

In the spirit of the season I am offering free coaching. Email me here to get your spot.

Watch On Wednesday: Keep Trucking!

We can come up with so many excuses to NOT do what we love.

Don't make the holidays an excuse.

There is always time to do what makes you feel happy.

Blessings,
Virginia

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Please Try This With Me

One college love has arrived home for Thanksgiving. My other college love will arrive home tomorrow. My heart is filling up. I am feeling so blessed.

The Holidays are here. Let the joy ring out. Let the gratitiude pour. Let all miracles come true.

It all sounds perfect for me and maybe for you.

But maybe not for your neighbor.

Maybe not for the store clerk.

Maybe not for the person who just cut you off in traffic.

Maybe not for that random person with a giant smile.

Or maybe not for you.

The Holidays are loaded with the expectation of perfect joy.

Yet not everyone is experiencing joy. Many are struggling.

This Holiday Season I invite you to do this with me:

Pay attention to the person in front of you.

The person in front of you is your child, your coworker, the person in front of you in the check out line, your partner, anyone you happen to run into and especially that person you see in the mirror everyday!

Pay attention.

Then find a way you can make your interaction more loving. Find a way to bring light to everyone you  meet.

The Holiday Season is about the gift of love. Let's all spread it! One person in front of us at a time.

Blessings,
Virginia

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Monday's Course In Miracles

All your past except its beauty is gone and nothing is left but a blessing. ACIM

Do Something Special For Yourself Just Because.

I exercised at 7 a.m.

I already got outside.

Yet late this afternoon I got an urge to walk the beach.

Today was  an enormously gorgeous November day.

As a Mainer,  I know these warm, late autumn days are a gift.

I still had work to finish.

But I had no more clients. I had no pressing deadline.

 I did, however, have quite a few more things on my to do list.

A walk on the beach seemed frivolous.

 It wasn't like I could give myself a big reward for accomplishing everything I set out to do today.

For a bit I squelched my desire to be at the ocean.

Then I decided to do it.

We can do something special for ourselves just because.

We don't have to earn it to deserve it.

Mother Nature supported my decision.

Blessings,
Virginia

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Watch on Wednesday ;Navigating Change Step Four

Greetings friends. Hopefully you are finding more and more things that make you sparkle. I am certain you have found amazingly fun ways to move your body. And in the spirit of Thanksgiving, I pray gratitude overflows your heart.

Now to step four.

Thank you for watching.

Remember to make the why about fabulous you!


Blessings,
Virginia

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Five Ways To Get Back On Track With Your Goal

 I decided I wanted to be stronger. So I added some more to my weight training and put some more umph in to my runs.

I was feeling good. I was on track.

One day while doing burpees my shoulder gave out.

I injured this shoulder years back raking the roof. It was a painful injury that took months to heal.

I freaked out. I thought of every worst scenario possible. I told myself I was too old to get stronger. I told myself I had another six month healing time. I told myself I should not have even bothered.

I told myself what we all tell ourselves when a goal gets siderailed: I told myself it was time to quit.

Then I laughed at myself.

I got the ice and the advil.

I babied myself a bit.  I iced my shoulder with an episode of Gilmore Girls.

Then I rewired my brain.

This is just a twist in the road. I can still achieve my goal.

 I found other ways to meet my goal of being stronger. I kept running. I worked my lower body. I started some balancing exercises.

Reaching a goal is never linear. Curve balls happen.

When the curve ball comes..

1. Let's laugh at our crazy thoughts. Especially the one that says quit

2. Let's simply do the most logical next step.

3. Let's love ourselves.

4. Let's change our minds.

5. Let's find more creative ways to move towards our goal.

Happy to say my shoulder is fine.  I am however doing a lighter version of a burpee.

Blessings,
Virginia

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Monday's Course in Miracles

And what is fear except love's absence? ACIM

I would love to have you in my email community. Sign up on the top right on my page to get your free Feng Shui E book.

Want to give up on the fear? Email me here .

Blessings galore,

Virginia

Watch On Wednesday: Navigating Change or Disappointment Step Three

I almost didn't post a video today. I am not feeling very upbeat in light of the election results.

However, today I am doing the very things I teach.

Today I am navigating my huge disappointment while choosing to live.

Picking happy doesn't mean stuffing our feelings down. First we need to befriend the sadness and fury.

Sending peace to your hearts.

Blesssings,
Virginia

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Regardless of Who Wins We Still Get to Choose How to Live!

Today I voted and I hope you did too.

Tomorrow we wake up to a new President of our beloved country.

It could go either way.

Every president I voted for has gotten into offfice. My odds are good.

Yet.

Tomorrow could be different.

So I made a plan

1. Regardless of the outcome, I am okay.

2.Regardless of the outcome, I  still remain in love.

3. Regardless of the outcome, I  limit my exposure to news media.

4. Regardless of the outcome, I  limit my social media.

5.Regardless of the outcome,  I  find things to appreciate.

6.Regardless of the outcome, I move in fun ways.

7.Regardless of the outcome,  I create.

8. Regardless of the outcome, I find fun ways to conect with my kiddos.

9. Regardless of the outcome, I  meditate.

10. Regardless of the outcome, I do chores.

Nothing really changes tomorrow.

We still get to choose how to live.

Live well.

Pick Happy!

Blessings,
Virginia

  

Monday's Course In Miracles

I could see peace instead of this. ACIM

A dark cloud hovers over this election.

Trying to imagine  Donald Trump as President puts a very dark cloud over my thinking.

Yet I know that I can control my own thoughts.

I know that I can choose peace over hate. Love over fear. Joy over sadness.

I choose.

We all choose.

Tomorrow I vote for Hillary Clinton.

Because I choose peace over hate, love over fear and joy over suffering.

Blessings,
Virginia

Fall Back. My Extra Hour!

Yesterday on my facebook page I asked readers to give this extra hour to YOU!

Here's how I am giving it to ME.

 Gretchen Rubin gave me this idea. If you are not reading her stuff. Read it. She is brilliant. You can find her here.

I am giving myself this extra hour to get back to my five a.m. wakeup.

I lost it back in the summer when I was waiting up late for my kids to come home.

Those kids  have been tucked away at college since September. My one at home is an early to bed guy. I have no excuse. I just seem to find things to do after nine.

 I love how I feel as the sun is rising.

I love that writing hour before my one at home wakes.

So I kept my kitchen clock on yesterday's time.

In my kitchen it is close to 8 pm.

The kitchen is the last place I am before I go to bed. The last thing I do each night is make tomorrow's coffee on the timer.

Nine is the new eight.

Ten is the new nine.

Five am is the new wakeup time. And I couldn't be more excited

Hope you made your extra hour count too!

Blessings,
Virginia

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Five Thoughts On The power of November!

I love being awake just before the day begins.
I love Mondays.
I love my Birthday. New Year's Day. And the first day of every month.
I love anything that serves as a reminder to begin anew.

Today is the first day of November. Most of the trees have let go of their precious leaves. My perennials are past bloom and barring one annual that sits close to my house and my hardy mums, nothing is blooming. Nothing looks breathtaking anymore.

Even so the trees and the perennials are heading  into their hardest work of  the year.  They look ugly as they build roots and draw deeper into the earth for next year's growth.

In my years as a human, a counselor and a life coach I have found November to be a change month. November is when the days go dark leading us to go within and begging us to make significant changes in our lives. . Changes that start internally tend to stick.

Here are some thoughts as we embark on our new day,  new month and  new season of growing.

1. Stop waiting for the right time.
     
    The right time is now. Waiting to begin anything "Until I   ( fill in the blank)" leaves us paralyzed.

Stop the research . Stop the lists. Stop the what ifs . Stop the maybe whens.  Right now is the  perfect time to begin anything.

2. Commit to action.
   
    Commit to do something each and every day in the direction of our goal.  When we commit to something it becomes like brushing our teeth. We simply do it.

I move my body everyday. (moving my body sounds so much more fun than EXERCISE) I don't have to ever ask myself if I am going to move.  Rather, the question is, " How am I going to move today?"

2. Progress is never linear. Don't use it as a reason to quit.
    
     There will be curves, road blocks and rollercoaster like drops. That is life.  We could use these derailments as a reason to quit.  I once did. Then I realized how far I had come. So I began again. Back to number one.

3. Tiny steps matter the most.

   Restarting is often harder than beginning. Do a tiny step. Sometimes we cannot accomplish what we planned. That doesn't mean we cannot do something.

  Fifteen  years ago I commited to writing three pages each and every day. Thank you Julia Cameron. That commitment changed my life for the better. Most days I write  three pages. Some days I don't. But every single day I grab my notebook and my pen just so I don't lose the habit.

4. Let go of right and wrong.

   Polar opposites don't exist. We are never right or wrong. We are simply creating results. If we don't like the results we just tweak our thoughts and actions. Guilt will not help us in anything!

5.Love yourself

Saved the best for last!  Loving myself is the number one in everything I do.  I am far beyond perfect. Yet in loving myself  life gets sweeter. When I love me I get stuff done. When I love me  I don't care what others think. When I love me I can love you better.

Blessings,

 Virginia

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Single Mom Thriving: No Regrets

I was having lunch with a fellow divorced mom.  Out of the blue she asked me if I ever regretted getting divorced. I all but spit out my lunch.

Regret getting divorced? Never!  Not once!

She continued, "Not even for your kids? Don't you regret it for them? Don't you feel sorry for them?"

Regret the divorce for my kids? No.

Feel sorry for my kids? It never crossed my mind.

After that conversation I did a bit of google research. Not the best evidence based research, I know,but that conversation had me intrigued.  Sure enough, most of the articles claimed women regret divorcing  because it was so hard on the children.

You know what makes it hard on the children? Believing that it is going to be hard on the children for their entire lives.

Yes it is difficult for children to navigate through their parents' divorce. However, if the children are the parents' number one priority, as they should be, the children do just fine.

We must change the way we speak about children who are raised by single mothers. They are not to be pitied. They are not at a disadvantage. Believing they are is the problem.  Kids live up to our expectations.

I have never once felt sorry for my kids because they were raised by me. I gave them a kickass childhood.

I have no regrets.

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Single mom searching for a guide? I would be honored . Email me here for a free 30 minute coaching call.

Blessings,

Virginia

Watch on Wednesday Creating Change Step 2

            Without change there would be no butterflies

Change in our lives is inevitable. Sometimes we long for it. Othertimes it is gifted to us. Either way, change is rarely comfortable.

This is the second video in the series I have crated to help you navigate changes that are happening in your life. You can watch the first video here.

Enjoy.

Here is the link to my blog 25 Ways To Sneak Exercise Into  Your Daily Routine.

Hope to hear from you. Happy moving!

Blessings,
Virginia

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Monday's Course in Miracles

There is no room in us for fear today for we have welcomed love into our hearts. ACIM

Friday's Feng Shui: Clutter is Not Bad

The number one tenet of Feng Shui is to eliminate clutter by surrounding yourself with things you treasure.

For most of us clearing clutter is an ongoing chore.

I often feel that I am in a constant cycle of accumulate and purge.

I read Marie Kondo's book The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up in hopes to end my cycle of accumulate and purge. I too wanted to banish clutter forever.

Per Kondo's instructions I started with my clothes. Every piece of clothing I owned got piled on my bed.
I held each item of clothing and asked myself if I loved it. I had so many clothes I didn't love. They all went to charity.

Then I went to my books and asked myself the same question. I happily sent books to my loved ones and donated the others.

I was really on a whirl as I followed her advice on getting rid of paper and household stuff.

It helped that I don't really keep excess.

Then came the category of sentimental value.

I halted. I poured myself a glass of wine.

Most of what I own is of sentimental value. I can look around any room of my home and see and touch things I love. Most of it has sentimental value.

However, there are  boxes and boxes filed with pictures. There are shelves and shelves lined with photo albums. Each year I make a picture collage that hangs in the dining room. My laundry room is lined with family pictures.  Each week I change the fridge pictures.

My tidying up stopped there. I went on a journey to figure out why I saved so many pictures.

My research taught me that one saves pictures as a way to remember that they survived.

I did! AMEN.

My heart taught me that it is okay. It is okay to hoard pictures.

There is nothing wrong with me. I simply love pictures.

I love sending them to my kids away at college. I love posting them on my fridge. I love making collages. I love that all of these pictures will become presents to my loved ones.

All clutter is not bad!

Maybe some clutter is good!

Blessings,
Virginia

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Single Mom Thriving: Hiking Alone.

Twenty five years ago wonderful friends introduced me to a beautiful hike along the coast of southern Maine.  It became my favorite place to hike with my then husband.

Kids came along.  We moved.  We divorced. I moved back to Maine.

Once my children were old enough to safely maneuver the cliffs, I took them on this glorious hike.

I had never done the hike alone.

This fall I had a strong desire to be there once again.  Timing and schedules made planning with friends a bit tricky.

I had a day open up. Or rather, I saw the weather report and opened up a random Wednesday to take the hike.

As the day approached, I found myself believing the myths about the dangers of women hiking alone.  Trump's views on how women should be treated was also boiling inside of me.

I felt afraid to hike, during the day, all by myself. Because I am a woman.

I almost didn't go.

I almost let the media scare tactics and a buffoon's opinion of women rob me of one of the most beautiful days of my life.

You know what changed my mind?

I asked myself, "What would I want my daughter to do?"

Blessings,

Virginia

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Watch On Wednesdays. Creating Change :Step One

              Without change there would be no butterflies.


Change in our lives is inevitable. Sometimes we long for it. Othertimes it is gifted to us. Either way, change is rarely comfortable.

I have created a video series to help you navigate changes that are happening in your life.

Enjoy!

Blessings,
Virginia

Take a Time Out And Blessings Will Follow.

When my children were younger I said on more than one occasion, "I am taking a time out. You may only disturb me if there is a lot of blood, threat of death or a fire."

It always worked!

For ten minutes I just breathed all alone in my room.  I came back into the arena of mothering with more patience, more love and a sense of calm.

I am sure those self mandated mommy time outs saved me from going bonkers.

With only one chick in the nest, I no longer have to say those words to a child. I do, however, need to say them to myself.

In this journey called life, stuff happens.

The furnace sounds funny.
The hot water stopped working.
There is a deadline looming.
More work to do  after dinner.
There is so much laundry.
What the heck is for dinner?
That medical intervention cost what?
 FAFSA still isn't done.
Sign up for parent teacher conferences was when?

This list is everyone's list just with different words. Life happens to all of us. When life has me feeling a tad bonkers I say,

"I am taking a time out because nobody is dying and the house isn't in flames."

Ten minutes, twenty minutes, thirty if you can swing it, is all it takes. After a time out I am ready to see solutions.


Furnace sounds funny and hot water stopped working:  Make one phone call . They can figure both out.
Deadline looming:   Just do it!
More work after dinner:  So what!
So much laundry.  So blessed.
What the heck is for dinner? Your fridge and cabinets are filled just wing it.
Medical costs.  Sure is great to have access to great care.
FAFSA still isn't done.Set a time to do it and make sure you have great snacks.
Parent teacher conferences:  Sign up late who cares?

I can see solutions because my time out teaches me this:

My life is not an emergency. My life is a privilege.

Monday's Course In Miracles

 

Love always leads to Love. ACIM

We get to choose our path. It is simple but not easy. Let's keep trying to choose the path of Love.

Watch On Wednesday: Summer in October

Sometimes the weather calls us to get outside just because. I am blessed!

Please go do something for you!

Blessings,
Virginia

Monday's Course in Miracles

Seek not to change the world but choose to change your mind about the world. ACIM

Watch on Wednesday How are you feeling?

                         Our feelings fluctuate all day.  Try this to keep your feelings more joyful.

Blessings,
Virginia

45 Ways To Beat A Bad Mood.

We all have bad moods. But do you really want to stay there?

Here are 45 ways to beat the bad mood and get the real you back.

1. Go outside
2. Take three long deep breaths and imagine the stress leaving at each exhale.
3. Listen to  music.
4. Dance like nobody is watching.
5. Take a walk.
6. Eat an apple (There's just something about that crunch this time of year makes

me happy)
7. List ten things you are thankful for.
8. Look around your environment and find one thing you love.
9. Do something for someone else.
10. Write a thank you note to a loved one.
11. Get dressed up.
12. Or put on your softest pyjamas.
13. Go to bed early.
14 Take a bubble bath
15. Think of a loved one.
16. Buy yourself flowers
17. Put on your favorite perfume.
18. Watch a funny movie.
19. Find funny clips on Youtube.
20, Take some silly selfies.
21 Phone a friend.
22 Say a prayer.
23. Find an adorable picture of you as a little child.
24. Do 25 jumping jacks.
25. Run as fast as you can.
26. Skip in the leaves.
27. Clean out your inbox.
28. Clean off your desk.
29. Take a different route.
30. Look at pictures of puppies and kittens and babies of every species.
31. Change your perspective. How else could I look at this?
32. Have a warm drink.
33. Set three achievable goals and meet them.
34. Get creative: draw, paint, sew, create something.
35. Get off social media.
36. Smile.
37. Ride a swing.
38 Take a nap.
39, Meidtate for ten minutes.
40. Plan a trip
41. Plan to do something you have always wanted to do.
42. Play your favorite song and sing like crazy  in the car.
43. Do some basic yoga moves and stretches.
44. Work out til you sweat.
45. Our time here is limited. Do you really want to spend one more minute wasting it? The real you isn't a bad mood:

                                              

Monday's Course In Miracles

Every decision you make stems from what you think you are, and represents the value that you put upon yourself. ACIM

Choose big!!

Blessings,

Virginia

Single Mom Thriving: A Guide To Running Away

Do you long to run away?

Have you ever longed to escape from the 24/7 parenting?

Many years ago I had a single momma adventure planned. I had plane tickets. Child care was lined up. I was hitting the road.

For months, anytime I would feel tired or scared or overwhelmed , I would breathe in and think of  my upcoming trip.

Puke bug. Breathe in.

Sibling squabbles. Breathe in.

Having to be at three kid events at the same time. Breathe in.

Laundry. Dishes, Home Maintenance. Breathe in.

I could handle it all. I had an escape all planned out. I was running away.

Until...

The day before my departure, my child care fell through.

I. WAS. DEVASTATED.

Never ever plan an extended trip as a single mom without back up child care. 

My devastation taught me more than the importance back up child care.

My devastation taught me to plan a daily escape and a weekly running away.

Daily escapes are simply making sure I do something just for me. I even take a picture. You can watch that here

Running away is  taking weekly solo adventures. These adventures can be for a few hours or an entire day. The only rule is to run away somewhere.

Today  I ran away here:

And marked it with this:

One day soon I will go on that big trip. But for this past decade a daily escape and weekly running away has been more than enough.

Try it and let me know!

What are your best escapes and run aways as a single mom? Let us know in the comments.

I would love to have you in my email community. Sign up on the top right. I am excited to give you some goodies.

Blessings,
Virginia

Watch on Wednesday: Your Words Have Power!

Your words have power. Use them wisely.

Have a wonderfuld day!

Please sign up to become part of my email community.

Blessings,
Virginia

Some Criticism Hurts. This is Why.

When you put yourself in the arena of life you run the risk of criticism.  Most times it is easy to let criticism just roll off your back.

But sometimes the criticism hurts. And our immediate reaction is to lash out or retreat within.

The other day I received criticism that stung.

While I wanted to lash out, I retreated instead. I didn't retreat in peace. I spewed and sputtered in my head for more time than I would like to admit.

That was no way to spend my time. So I decided to look at it at another angle.

First, I simply acknowledged that I was angry and hurt and my ego felt a little bit bruised. I just love how simply honoring my uncomfortable feelings makes them smaller.

Secondly I reflected on two things I know to be true.

Meanspirited comments usually have more to do to with the giver than the recipient.

When we are coming from a place of love and self confidence there really isn't any room to be mean.

Instead of being stuck in my own bruised ego, I could show some compassion.  While this was a person who is close to me, I really had no idea what was going on in her heart.

I could have stopped there and been done with the whole thing. But if I really wanted to learn from this experience, I needed to look at part two of what I know to be true.

If something someone says hurts you, at some level you believe it.

For example  if you told me my dark brown hair was ugly, I wouldn't even give it a second thought. My hair is blonde. My dark brown ugly hair is a lie.

Being brutally honest with myself I realized  a part of me did believe her comment. In fact I am afraid of being the way she described me.

I am not saying her comment describes the essence of who I am.  Her comment reminded me to bring love and compassion to myself.

Loving ourselves more will turn all meanspiritied comments into lies.

Blessings,
Virginia

Monday's Course In Miracles

Feng Shui Friday ;Soji

In many Zen Temples, after morning meditation, the monks participate in an activity called Soji. During Soji each member of the community is given a chore that they do for about 20 minutes.  When the twenty minutes is up, everyone stops doing their chore.

The monks clean for the sake of cleaning. They don't clean to achieve a goal or to even complete the chore. They clean as a way to bring their meditation to action. The monks also can't choose their chores. It doesn't matter if they like the chore or hate the chore. They just do it.

Imagine if we tackled some of our own projects in the Soji manner.

We could be so much more creative if we kept our focus on the action instead of the outcome.

We could let go of the angst of procrastination.

We could get so much more done. Every 20 minutes adds up.

Tomorrow is the date to start filling out the FAFSA.
I am going to do it Soji style.
I will not complain. I will set a timer. And I will just do it one small step at a time.

Single Mom Thriving: As The Nest Empties

It seems just yesterday I was in the crazy single mom race of leaving no kid behind.  There were picnic dinners in the van. Homework help as we waited for a sibling at practice. Endless loads of laundry. More games than I could count. A few cases of the flu that derailed the sytem. And only one child left behind. Bless that coach who waited those 20 minutes.

Just like all phases of parenting,  I thought it would last forever.

It didn't.  One child is at home and his two older siblings are in college.

Dropping my daughter off at college was sad and it took me off guard. You can read that here.

Once the sadness lifted something else came up.

I got excited.

As each child heads off to college I receive a gift: I know I succeeded as a single mom.

Statistically, being raised by a single mom in a certain income bracket equals marginal student success. I tossed out believing in any statistic right off the bat 14 years ago.

I chose to believe in something else.
I chose to believe in myself.
I chose to believe in my family.
I chose to believe that my family was whole.
I chose to believe in my children.

That success did not come easy.  There were times I felt so scared I could barely breathe. There were many late nights crying. And there were typical family dynamics.

But this chapter is ending.

After 14 years of single parenting and putting my children at the front burner of my life I see a clear space opening up. I get to be on the front burner. And as the nest empties I am already taking advantage of it.

However, empty nest or not, I will never grow tired of being with these three

Blessings,
 Virginia

Need some help on the single mom journey? It would be an honor to work with you. Email me here

Watch on Wednesday

What are you thinking about? It matters.

Dont forget to sign up to join my email community.

Blessings,
Virginia

Monday's Course In Miracles

In quietness are all things answered and is every problem quietly resolved. ACIM

Monday's Course in Miracles

Today I will accept God's peace and joy in glad exchange for all substitutes I have made for happiness and peace. ACIM

Join my email community by signing up on the top right of the page. I share weekly goodies exclusively to this group.

Many blessings,

Virginia

Single Mom Thriving: A Gift.

My goal was to give them a happy childhood.

I look back and I know I did.

My goal was to let them dream big.

They did. They still are.

My goal was to encourage them to work hard and not give up.

They did.  They still are.

I told them how proud I am of their hard work.

The response, " You taught us."

Could a single mom ever want a better gift?


Blessings,
Virginia

Don't forget to sign up on the top right of the page. I have some goodies just for my email community.

Watch On Wednesday: Toddler Care is Self Care

It is another Watch on Wednesday. Enjoy.

Treat yourself as you would a child. You deserve it.

Be sure to sign up on the top right hand box. I have some exciting offerings only for my email community.

Many Blessings,
Virginia

Monday's Course In Miracles

Try not to shape this day as you believe would benefit you most. For you cannot conceive of all of the happiness that comes to you without your planning.ACIM

Watch on Wednesday Has Returned

The most effective way to get to know yourself better.

Do you journal? If yes what is your technique? If no give it a whirl and let me know how it goes.


Blessings,
Virginia

Seven Ways To Beat Sadness

I dropped my daughter at college last week. She is my second child to fly the coop.  I thought it would be easy since it was my second time launching a child to college.

It wasn't easy. I felt sad really,really sad. I felt silly for being so sad. I had the urge to compare my feelings with everyone else's feelings.

The burden of sadness, like all moods, did eventually pass.

Here is what helped.



1. Allow the sadness.
     
     My sadness caught me off guard and my first response was to deny it. Then I made it even worse when I judged my sadness. Feelings are just feelings.  They come and go.  Denying and judging  them makes them stay longer.

2. Don't compare.

     Everyone experiences life differently.  As Franklin Roosevelt said, "Comparison is the thief of joy."

3. Move your body 

     I am an avid exerciser ,but in that sadness, all I wanted to do was curl up with netflix. I forced myself to get outside for a walk. It helped immensely.

4. Cry,

     Crying is beneficial and usually makes you feel better. In allowing my feelings, I also allowed myself to cry.

5, Clean

In the words of Gretchen Rubin  "Outer order brings inner calm".  Clean kitchen counters always brighten my mood.

6. Eat 

    I am an emotional non-eater.  So I picked the cheerful color orange and ate that; cantalope, carrots, oranges, mangoes, cheese, cheese doodles, salmon.

7. Gratitude

   Even in the midst of any sadness there are shimmers of light. Be grateful for those shimmers.

Monday's Course In Miracles

For you will be content only in magnitude, which is your home. ACIM

Monday's Course In Miracles

This Day is God's. It is my gift to Him. ACIM

Twenty Ways To Enjoy The Remaining Four Weeks of Summer

It appears that summer is coming to a close. Schools are about to start.  Fall sports have begun preseason. College kids are heading back or starting out.

However  summer, sweet amazing summer, doesn't officially end until September 21st.

Four weeks remain to:

1. Hit the beach, a lake or a local swimming hole. If you wait until early September, (not Labor day weekend)  you will have the place to yourself.

2. Go see a sunrise. The days are getting shorter so you won't have to wake up as early.

3. Enjoy the amazing fresh produce from your garden or from a local farmer's market.

4. Be outside every chance you get. Make being outside a priority.

5. Visit gardens and/or spend more time in yours.

6. Hit the summer clearance racks and buy that summer outfit you longed for back in May.

7.  Replace that dried up planter you forgot to water. Plants are on clearance as well.

8. Do the fun summer activity you loved to do as a kid. You are still a kid at heart.

9. Play with sidewalk chalk.(Also on sale)

10, Take an evening walk.

11. Eat an ice cream cone.

12. Catch fireflies.

13. Pitch a tent and sleep out side.

14. Eat dinner out doors.

15. Play in the yard with your children.

16. Walk at lunch.

17. Lather up the sunscreen and lay in the sun.

18. Read a great book OUTSIDE.

19. Do a summer activity you always wanted to try.

20. Relax and enjoy each and every day Summer has to offer.

What will you do to enjoy these last four weeks of summer?

Monday's Course In Miracles

        When you want only love you will see nothing else. ACIM

Watch On Wednesday; Life's Retests

Sometimes we don't learn the lesson the first time and the same issue shows up again and again.  I like  to think of them as retests and an opportunity to learn.

Enjoy!

When was the last time you had a retest?

Monday' s Course In Miracles

Change but your ind on what you want to see, and all the world must change accordingly. ACIM

A Hiatus

Hello friends,

Last week I posted this picture on my Instagram.

I gave myself a day. It was glorious.

I realized yesterday, that one day just wasn't going to do it.

Thus I will be on a one week hiatus from the interwebs.

I will be back on August 15th.

I invite you to take a break as well.

Give yourself a slice of summer.

Many Blessings,

Virginia