Some Criticism Hurts. This is Why.

When you put yourself in the arena of life you run the risk of criticism.  Most times it is easy to let criticism just roll off your back.

But sometimes the criticism hurts. And our immediate reaction is to lash out or retreat within.

The other day I received criticism that stung.

While I wanted to lash out, I retreated instead. I didn't retreat in peace. I spewed and sputtered in my head for more time than I would like to admit.

That was no way to spend my time. So I decided to look at it at another angle.

First, I simply acknowledged that I was angry and hurt and my ego felt a little bit bruised. I just love how simply honoring my uncomfortable feelings makes them smaller.

Secondly I reflected on two things I know to be true.

Meanspirited comments usually have more to do to with the giver than the recipient.

When we are coming from a place of love and self confidence there really isn't any room to be mean.

Instead of being stuck in my own bruised ego, I could show some compassion.  While this was a person who is close to me, I really had no idea what was going on in her heart.

I could have stopped there and been done with the whole thing. But if I really wanted to learn from this experience, I needed to look at part two of what I know to be true.

If something someone says hurts you, at some level you believe it.

For example  if you told me my dark brown hair was ugly, I wouldn't even give it a second thought. My hair is blonde. My dark brown ugly hair is a lie.

Being brutally honest with myself I realized  a part of me did believe her comment. In fact I am afraid of being the way she described me.

I am not saying her comment describes the essence of who I am.  Her comment reminded me to bring love and compassion to myself.

Loving ourselves more will turn all meanspiritied comments into lies.

Blessings,
Virginia