Our Stories are Based on Alternative Facts.

        We have stories attached to everything.

We have a money story
We have a relationship story.
We have a body story.
We have a career story.

When we have issues with anything in the list above,  our story is not true. It is based on 'alternative facts.'

Those alternative facts are based on a story we have told ourselves repeatedly based on what happened in the past.

We aren't doing anything wrong. We are just believing a false story.

Our job is to rewrite the story. We rewrite our story by simply removing the debris that is covering who we really are.

    Who we really are is a being of light and love.
    Who we really are can accomplish anything.
    Who we really are is absolutely perfect.


This morning I set the stage to pay my bills. I lit a candle.  I made tea and put my Pandora station to Jim Brickman.

WHAM! Out of nowhere came panic. My heart was racing. I felt a heaviness in my solar plexus. All I wanted to do was run.

I have been doing the anxiety dance most of my life. I have learned, the hard way, that the only way out is through. 

SO I just stopped and became curious. I became aware of my breath and my body sensations.

I talked to my feelings, " Thanks for dropping by panic. I have got this covered. I have enough. But thanks for your help."

That was it. Then I got back to the task at hand.

The ego wants to terrorize us with our thoughts and feelings. But they are only thoughts and feelings telling us a false story of who we really are.

The good news is, each time we become curious about  uncomfortable thoughts and feelings, we remove another piece of debris.  And get closer  to who we really are.

There are no alternative facts to who we really are.

We are love.

Blessings,
Virginia,

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Monday's Course in Miracles

Decide in advance what you want to happen so you will perceive it in that way. You will therefore make ever effort to overlook what interferes with your objective and concentrate on that which helps you meet it. ACIM

A Sacred Moment.

                         

I sat today on a swing in a park.

Abundant January sunshine warmed my face.

On each side of me were friends.

We could not remember the last time we were together.

Twenty years? 

Or was it 25?

We did figure out that we became friends back in 1989.

We pondered and laughed at how life has shaped us.

In awe that life didn't destroy us.

We wanted to do a celebration.

We talked instead.

I simply marvelled.

And had a thought.

This is a sacred momnet.

I want more sacred moments.

Blessings,

Virginia

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I Spent This Week Wasted.

I wasted a lot of time.

I got scared. So I over did the internet news search.

I reacted. So I read, posted and shared a crazy amount of things on social media.

I wanted numb. So I binged on Netflix.

I gave fear the time I could have been creating and loving.

No more.

I have a new plan.

1. I am only paying attention to two  news sources I trust, NPR and The Washington Post. (There are many more I trust I just limited myself to two)

2. I will do one thing a day to make this world better. This change is a marathon not a sprint. One thing is enough. 
              Imagine if we all just did one thing. 

3. My one thing will be decided the night before. Then I will schedue it.

4. Social media happens after I have created and loved.

Let's make this time a love fest and stop being wasted!

Blessings,
Virginia

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Feng Shui Friday; The Five Elements

There are five elements in the natural world. The perfect environment consists of these five elements being in balance.

The five elements are wood, fire, earth, metal and water.

When we bring these elements into our homes in an equal balance, life flows easily.

Wood:

  The wood element is about growth and expansion. Regardless your age, you are still growing and        expanding.

   Add wood to your home by:

          * Have actual wood, like wooden floors, wooden doors, wooden trim work. (Fake wood doesn't count unless some of it came from a tree)
          *Have plants and flowers.
           * Add the color of green leaves.
           *Add the shape of a rectangle.

Fire:

The fire element is is about passion and rising the energy.

    Add fire to your home by:

       *Have a fire with a fireplace, a woodstove, a pellet stove, or a burning candle.

        *Add the color red, orange or bright pink.

        * Add the shape of a triangle.

Earth:

The earth element grounds you and makes you feel connected.

    Add earth to your home by:

        *Have earth elements like clay pots, granite counters, and favorite stone collections.

         *Add colors of the earth like brown soil, yellow sun, teracotta clay.

         *Add the shape of a square.

Metal:

The metal element gives you strength and clear thinking.

     Add metal to your home by:

       *Knowing all electronics are metal, even your iphone.

        *Add colors of silver, gold and gray.

        * Add the shape of a coin.

     

  Water:

 The water element is free flowing. You flow with life.

    Add water to your home by:

      *Have water flowing in a fishtank, a waterfall,  a bowl of water with a candle or a picture of moving water.

       *Add the colors of deep blue or black.

        *Add a color that has a swirling shape.

Blessings,
Virginia

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Single Mom Thriving: We Make the Impossible Doable

                Single Mom, We make the Impossible Doable

I saw this man today as I took a late afternoon run on the beach.

I watched him navigate his walker quite slowly to the shore's edge.  He was actually just an etch as I ran and pondered.

I thought of us, Single Moms. 

We single moms figure out how to make everything impossible doable.

We have some barriers.

Yet we do it.

We show up. 

We do the seemimgly impossible.

We thrive.

Amen!

Blessings,

Virginia

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Always a sliding scale  for single moms. xo 

It is Okay To Readjust Your Goals

                        You Can Readjust Your Goals

Life happens.

Sometimes we don't achieve our goals.

It is okay.

Life is about progress not perfection.

Here are some reasons why it is perfectly fine to readjust your goals.

Thanks for being here.

Many Blessings,
Virginia

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Pay Attention to The War in Your Head.

I felt like I was going to throw up.

Then I wanted to cry.

Or scream.

Or break something.

This country is screwed. So many people won't have health insurance. My daughter has lost her reproductive rights.  Why couldn't he have said kinder and  less devisive words. Who in their right mind voted for him? People are going to be deported. There is going to be a nuclear war.

My thoughts swirled from bad to worse and on and on and on. I felt angrier by the minute.

Then I stopped.

I was folding laundry.

I felt like I was going to throw up.

Then I wanted to cry.

Or scream.

Or break something.

I am never going to be able to do this. How will I ever do it when they are teenagers? How will I afford college? What was I thinking? What if we end up homeless? What if they become horrible people? It will be all my fault.

My thoughts went from bad to worse.

Then I stopped.

Three children under ten were happily entertaining themselves in the back of an overpacked van. I was driving us to our new home.

 A Course In Miracles states:

 "At Peace I ask for nothing and have everything. At war I ask for everything and have nothing." 

I believe the biggest war is the war in our head.

That war requires people to behave as we want them to.

That war requires us to be able see the future.

That war invents horrible outcomes.

When you are at war in your mind you have nothing and you ask for everything.

When you soften, even just a bit, you get peace.

I am not encouraging us to be lazy. I am not encouraging us to slap on a happy face and a happy affirmation and go hide under a rock.

When we give ourselves a moment of peace we are inspired to act.

If I had stayed in my pissed off mood over the weekend, I could not have made intelligent phone calls to my senators these past two days.

If I had stayed in that singlemom freak out mode, who would have raised my children?

It is all normal. We all do it. ALL. OF. THE. TIME.

In fact I've spoken about it here.

The trick is to catch ourselves, laugh, and get back to what is real.

Blessings,
Virginia

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Monday's Course In Miracles

You have no idea of the tremendous release and deep peace that comes from meeting yourself and your brothers and sisters totally without judgment. ACIM

Ways to be Brave

I cannot come up with a great blog post today so I will share this one from way back when.  Brave is a lonely game.


 I  spent three hours sitting on the bleachers the other night watching my daughter play two basket ball games. I am a quiet person and  that group of spectators held no close friends. So I watched the games and also people watched. My monkey mind went into over drive.

"Look at all of the grandparents here. I wonder what that would be like," I thought and the big heavy ache of having no living parents arrived in my solar plexus. I squeezed my eyes to push down the tears and tried to bring my focus back to my beautiful daughter giving her all on the court.

I heard laughing and talking among the spectators and my monkey mind headed into a train wreck of feelings and thoughts of being alone, wishing there was somebody with me, missing my parents and feeling like I didn't belong. For three hours I went back and forth from the monkey mind to my daughter. It was exhausting.

We arrived home to a messy kitchen and two teenagers sprawled watching TV. Immediately I wanted to scream about the mess and homework and TV rules.

But I didn't.

My quest to be brave in 2014 includes being braver in dealing with my emotions. Yelling about the mess wouldn't be about the mess. It would be a clever way of numbing the real angst I felt inside. Those three hours of monkey mind gymnastics left me raw. I made tea and decided to sit and breathe and mostly just give myself some space to honor that big heavy ache.

Thank God I did. As I made my tea, I realized that the mess included dinner for my daughter and I. Spaghetti and meatballs, salad and rolls were prepared by my youngest. I expressed my gratitude and sat down with my tea.

 My eldest walked by and said,"You look kinda depressed."

I looked up and realized all sets of blues were on me. I could have said, "I am fine hon."

But I didn't. I chose brave instead. I told them how I felt at the games and that I was still a little sad.

From there a conversation began about times each of us have felt that totally crappy feeling of 'aloneness' and 'not belonging'.  The big heavy ache dissipated. A memorable family conversation about universal feelings was shared.  The homework got done and the house got picked up. I felt brave.

Blessings,
Virginia

Today We Marched. Tomorrow We Do LOVE..

I could not march today.

Yet I was there in spirit and I watched as much as I could.

Thank you brave, LOVE  spirited Americans!

As Marty Walsh said in Boston, "This Country was already great!"

I believe it will continue to be so.

Did you watch Ashley Judds speech? See it here

If you have never been sexually assaulted you might not get the significance and that is beautiful. (You are in the minority)

The thing is we get to be mad.

We get to be angry.

We are allowed to be simply flabberghasted.

YET

This cannot be a war against President Trump.

Wars bring death.

We cannot be about death.

Tomorrow we LOVE!

We recognize all of the love we have right here and right now.

From that love we act.

We act in whatever way feels right to us.

This not a war.

This is Love taking over.

Love always wins!

Many blessings,
Virginia

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Be the Light

Friends I cannot come up with many appropriate words on this inauguration day.

My Friday Feng Shui seemed too trite.

I did, however,  spend much of my free time clearing out stuff.

Cleaning brings me a sense of peace. Getting rid of stuff unclutters the clogged parts of my brain. Clean closets, clean counters, a clean refrigerator, a clean anything makes me fell more in control.

Today I needed to feel more in control.

Eight years ago I cried while watching President Obama being sworn in as our 44th President.

Today I cried when I listened to President Trumps's inauguration speech.

( I chose not to watch the inauguration.  I chose to only listen to the inaugural speech on Maine Public Radio.)

My tears were as different as the two men.

The first came from love. The second comes from fear.

I had hoped for kinder words in the inaugural speech.  Yesterday I shared this on my facebook page. I had hopes of more kindness.

I will still have hope.

I will honor my tears.

I promise to be light in every way I can.

Please join me.

Be the light!

Many Blessings,
Virginia

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Single Mom Thriving: Have Faith

Being a single mother is a dauntingly enormous job.

It is difficult to carry the weight of your family on your one set of shoulders.

It is exhausting being the only one to care for sick children.

It is lonely when there is no one to take care of you.

It is scary to look at the piles of bills, and the piles of laundry and the piles of commitments.

Being a single mother is doing the near impossible.

 I have been a single mom for almost 15 years. It is possible.

You just need to have faith. Faith in yourself. Faith in your children. Faith in God.

Having faith in yourself is the cornerstone of your family.  Keep telling yourself you can do it.    'You can do this' lead me to taking apart a toilet, fixing a dishwasher, setting up a generator, and dealing with a flooded basement. The list could go on.  Some mornings faith in myself was what got me out of bed.

Your children know if you believe in them. Have faith that they will have a joyous childhood and will grow into amazing adults.  They count way more than the ridiculous statistics.

Lastly and equally important have faith in God. When things seem hard ask God for help and trust help is already there. Times when I threw up my arms and asked God for help lead to the most amazing miracles.

Yes single motherhood is an arduous endeavor.

Faith makes it easier.



Blessings,
Virginia

If you need help along the way as a single mom email me here or call me here 207-361-7453

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We Widen the Gap to Remember.

We widen the gap to remember our essence is peace and love. Let's all spend time in that gap.

Thanks for watching.

Thanks for infusing your love into this world.


Blessings,
Virginia

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Widen the Gap. Meditation

Many of the 'experts' encourage meditation for weight loss, securing a new job, finding a new love, becoming healthier and achieving all of your dreams.

I think they got it all wrong.

I am not a meditation teacher.

I do however meditate everyday.

There really isn't anything fancy about it. I light a candle.  I sit on the rug. I set an alarm. I breathe and I bring all of my attention to my breath for ten minutes.

Today it went something like this:

I 'm hungry. I wish I had eaten first.

Back to my breath.

I wonder how E is doing.

Back to my breath.

The inauguration.

Back to my breath.

Trump.

Back to my breath.

For ten minutes thoughts come as I meditate but I let them go and keep refocusing on my breathing.

 In his book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Steve Covey writes of the space between stimulus (something that has happened) and response. This is the space where our freedom lies.

Meditation has made that gap wider for me.  If something occurs I am much better at making a choice before I respond.

I am human. I still forget the gap. I sometimes have responses that are NOT loving.

Yet  knowing that space is always there for me is amazingly freeing.

I meditate to widen the gap around my feelings so I have more freedom to choose my thoughts, moods and actions.

Meditation is not the quick fix to any perceived problems.

There are no quick fixes to anything.

Meditation is simply a tool to widen the gap so we respond better to what we are presented with.

Try it!

Sit for ten minutes.  Focus on your breathing. As each thought comes up let it be and get right back to your breathing focus.

Let's all widen the gap.

Blessings,
Virginia

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Monday's Course In Miracles

There is a place in you where there is perfect peace. ACIM

Getting Organized; A Spiritual Practice Part Two

Organizing your week and your day is a spiritual practice. Your days matter.

Last Sunday I wrote about how I plan for my week. You can read it here.

I do a version of the same thing every day.

I believe reflection helps us to know ourselves better.

There is nobody better to know than yourself.

At the end of my work day I spend 10-15 minutes reflecting.

Who did I touch in a positive way today?
What exactly did I get done?
Did I procrastinate? If so, how can I make friends with that fear? (Procrastination  is just fear.)
When did I feel great today?
Did I stick to my schedule?
What did I learn?
Is there anything I want to change for tomorrow?

Then I look at tomorrow's schedule. I tweak anything I can to make sure I feel successful.

 I don't care what you do for work. Through that work you are sharing yourself with the world. Our world, more than ever, needs someone who is reflecting.

Our world needs YOU reflecting on how YOU make this world a better place each and every day!

Thank you!

Many blessings,
Virginia

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Enough!

I was blessed to share a day with a friend I haven't seen in over  12 years.

We were talking careers and money.

I said I made enough. I said this with a bit of shame.

Her response, "Enough is better than an excess."

Since then I have been thinking about enough.

Webster's definition of enough "occurring in such quantity, quality or scope as to fully meet demands, needs or expectations."

Brene Brown wowed the world with her Power of Being Enough.

Enough is perfect. Enough is you. Enough is me.

If you have enough count yourself blessed.

I sure do.

Blessings,
Virignia

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Feng Shui Friday: Loving Life is How you Look At it.

In my home, the Christmas tree means rearranging the entire house. My living room becomes the Christmas tree room. My office becomes the living room.  The back corner of my dining room becomes my office.

I welcome these changes in late November. I slow way down. I envelop the darkness and the coming of light.

I love my Christmas tree. I leave it up until it stops taking water. It is still up. I love it until..

 I know it is time.

I know it is time because the not so clean house I embraced back in December starts to bug the sh** out of me. 

I want the house back in order NOW! I want my office back NOW! I don't just want clean counters. I want the entire house to be in order NOW!

As you know I have been doing a 2017 clear out. I am also taking a course through Daily Om titled A Year to Clear What is Holding You Back.

Here is what I am learning through my clear out and the course:

To embrace the slow down that so naturally came when I put my Christmas tree up.  

Life isn't a marathon. I can do slow and still get things done. One college kid is tucked back in college. One is still home for a few more days. I am allowed to enjoy him. 

To see excess stuff in a positive note and not as a way to beat myself up.

Having six pairs of snowpants that fit nobody in my family means someone else has snowpants for their kids this snow season. It doesn't mean I failed in anyway.

To Know and understand we are never done!

 We don't clean a house and never do it again . We don't have a dream fullfilled and never dream again. Life keeps giving to us. I have so many more dreams that go beyond the clearing out and the empty nest.

To see the mess as a blessing.

It is all a blessing. Dishes in the sink mean we had food to eat. Laundry means we have clothes to wear. Backpacks mean my children got an education. Laptops mean we have wifi. Boots by the door mean we have footwear. Jackets on chairs mean we get to be warm. A Christmas tree still up means I enjoy the light a bit longer.

Loving life is  how you look at it.

Blessings,

Virginia

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Feng Shui Friday: Letting Go Of A Clean House For The Holidays

I posted a video a few weeks back about making room for the Holiday rush. You can see it here.

In that video I admitted to letting go of a clean house at Christmas time. I also admitted to using paper plates to make life simpler.

I got quite a few emails.

I love your emails! Keep them coming. I promise to keep responding.

The most asked question was, "What does letting go of a clean house mean?"

One lovely reader who shares my obsession with clean kitchen counters emailed, "There is no way I could give up my clean counters."

My response was, " I hear you sister"

So what does easing up on a clean house mean for me?

1. Sometimes I go to bed with dishes in the sink.

2. I have two college kids coming home for winter break. I will create room for their stuff to be dribbled throughout our home as they readjust.

3. When I had little ones I created room for their Christmas crafts. i.e. glitter dribbled throughout the house.

4. My kitchen counters remain clear. For me that is just smart mental health.

5. I might not sweep or vacume or dust or do any of the regular weekly chores. My kids' chores are limited as well. It can all wait.

6. I might not get to all of the laundry. Again, I have 2 college kids coming home. They will be monopolizing the washer and dryer.

7. Other than my pictures (you can read that here) I will not take on any big clearing out project.

So for me that is letting go of a clean house. I keep my kitchen counters clear. The rest can just wait.

Everything can wait while you enjoy Christmas with the ones you love most!

With so many blessings,
Virginia

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What Should I Do?

This is a piece I wrote years back. It was published in Chicken Soup For the Soul Divorce and Recovery. I posted it on my blog back in 2015. It is an important lesson on having faith as a single mom. It is also my mother's final gift to me. I thought it was a worthy TBT.

     As I lost my moorings in the divorce process, I desperately asked everyone, "What should I do?"
   
     The divorce was inevitable and now I had the task of figuring out how I was going to support my three children.

     The advice I heard repeatedly was ,"Find a full time job and sell the marital home,"

  When I was married, I had chosen to be a stay at home mom and I had loved the hours spent homeschooling and caring for my three children. Now I was faced with updating my resume, beginning a job search and selling my house.

     I did what I thought every single mom had to do. I didn't think I had another option.

     I was making tremendous progress. I had an offer on the house, although I had no idea where I was going to move. I was one of two top candidates for a full time job. And, although my almost three year older sobbed uncontrollably every time I left his presence, I still barreled forward, determined to do what I thought I should do.

     I was invited for a third interview for the job. I was confident I would be hired. I assumed this interview was  a formality. When I walked into the office, I received a very cool welcome.  I was two hours late. Although my calendar said the interview was to be at 3:00, the receptionist's calendar said it was scheduled for 1:00.

 I didn't get the job.

Then, to top off my day, my realtor called to tell me the potential buyers had lowered their bid due to the home inspection. The new offer was too low for me to accept.

     That night after my children fell asleep, I sobbed. I felt like a failure, everything inside hurt, and I simply wanted my mother. I wanted her gentle hand to rub my forehead and mostly I wanted her never failing faith.

     But my mother had Alzheimer's disease. On the Saturdays my children were with their father, I would go take care of my mother. Although she no longer recognized me and didn't really speak to me, on these days I would change her diaper, bathe her and help her eat. Most of the time I felt grateful for being able to care for her. Yet sometimes it seemed unreal and even cruel to have to lose both my marriage and my mother in the same breath.

     On this particular Saturday, I was merely overcome with sadness and fear. I had lost every iota of faith and had no idea what I should do. After I changed my mom and was brushing her hair I began to cry and talk to her as I had done before she had Alzheimer's.

     "What am I going to do Mom? How am I going to support my three children? I am so scared." I looked at her with tears streaming down my face.

     And then I saw something shift in her eyes. As clear as day she said "Virginia dear, you don't have to do anything. Take care of yourself. Take care of your children and leave the rest to God." She softly rubbed my forehead and smiled at me-- then her eyes went blank again.

     I received a miracle that day. My life as hard as it appeared, changed. I decided to become the single mom that I wanted to be, not what others expected me to be. And anytime it all feels like too much. I do as my mother told me.

     I take care of myself. I take care of my children. I leave the rest to God.

     He hasn't let me down yet.

Blessings,
Virginia

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Don't Wait to Be Happy

                                   

    Happiness isn't over there. It is always right where you are.

Thanks for watching.

Many Blessings,

Virginia

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An Easy Way To Feel Good

I have read copious amounts of books and articles from the world's greatest teachers about the importance of feeling good. I am a natural Pollyanna. I have a knack for turning lemons into lemonade.

I spend many billable hours encouraging women to find creative ways to feel good inside regardless of what is going on in the outside world. Naturally one would think I had the feeling good way of life down pat.

Well I don't.

Life has her way of turning events and throwing us all curveballs. I am no exception to the rule.

This one curve ball had me REALLY sad. Being kind to myself helped. Dancing around the kitchen helped. Praying helped. Getting in nature helped. Exercising, eating well and getting more sleep helped. However, I still couldn't totally shake it. I felt like I was in a dark cloud and my heart was heavy.

Finally I decided to change my quest to feel good into something totally different. Instead of feeling good I decided to DO good. I made it my daily goal to do a good deed for someone else.

And as life would have it, DOING good lead to FEELING good.

Next time life throws you a curve ball,  treat yourself with tender care.  Then do something good for someone else.

You'll be the happier for it. I promise.
Blessings,
Virginia

Monday's Course In Miracles

Those who witness through me are expressing through miracles, that they have abandoned the belief in deprivation in favor of the abundance they have learned belongs to them. ACIM

Remember, abundance belongs to all of us.

Blessings,

Virginia

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Getting Organized, A Spiritual Practice.

Each Sunday I spend an hour or so getting ready for the upcoming week.

The first thing I do is create a peaceful environment. I play calming music, light a candle and make myself tea.

I then review last week by asking these questions,

What were my successes of the week?

When did I feel joy?

What were the challenges?

What did I learn?

How can I tweak my schedule this coming week to insure more success?

For example:
    I didn't workout each day as I had planned. I had a killer headache on Thursday so I rested instead. I had a crazy headache because I didn't get enough sleep the night before.  Wednesday night I went back to the computer and stayed up late working.  I put my five am wake up goal before my 8 hours of sleep goal. This coming week I do not want to work in the evening. If I do I will set an alarm for 8pm.

After I am done with looking at last week, I write down everything I want/have to get done this coming week. I then organize the list in categories of house, me, work, kids. I make note of what I learned from last week. And finally, I plug in all activites into my calendar.

I blow out my candle in gratitude.

Next week I will share part two.

Have a lovely Sunday.

Blessings,
Virginia

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Feng Shui Friday: Letting Go of Sentimental Items

One of my New Year's resolutions is to spend 25 minutes each day clearing out. You can read it here.

I donated skates, cross country boots, snow boots and cleats that don't fit any of us. I recycled a ton of paper. I filled a trash bag.

Then I came across the bin named MOM.  I have been stuffing things into the MOM bin for 14 years! Never have I actually gone through it. I so wanted to just move it back to the place  that I had just vacumed.

              But I rememered my why and kept to my New Years goal.

That box took three 25 minute sessions. And I am not quite finished.

Here is what I have learned so far.

                      I don't have to be afraid of losing what we had.

The MOM box reminded me that I gave my children one heck of a fun childhood.
I don't have to keep it all. Getting rid of it doesn't negate what is true. I will always have memories in my heart and my children will too. Keeping a few is fine.
                 
                        I could have let go of the guilt way earlier  
 
 I actually saved a wedding album.  I remember stuffing it in the MOM box when I was preparing to move from the marital home to here. That was over 11 years ago. I thought my kids would want it. I remember the guilt I felt for divorcing their dad and the guilt of moving them to another state.
It has been a very long time since I felt guilt over the divorce (read that here) or the move.  Yet I vivdily remember the guilt I felt the day I tossed those albums in the MOM box. I saved a few pictures and tossed the album.

                     Having fewer sentimental items make them more special. 

After my Dad died, I received ten years of  letters I had written him.  Knowing he saved those letters was an amazing gift to me. It helped heal the pain of both losing him to death and my unresolved feelings of those ten years when I only saw my parents twice. I read them all and just saved the two most meaningful letters I sent him in those ten years. That is all I need.
           
                               Feelings have a shelf life if we feel them.

Going through the MOM box brought up so many feelings and some tears. I didn't fight any of it or judge any of it. I just let it be. I felt each feeling as it came, paid attention and each let each feeling float away.

Blessings,
Virginia

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Single Mom Thriving:Dreams Come True

With much excitement, my daughter and I  finally got our schedules in sync so we could hit the new consignment store in town. We share a passion for second hand shops.

The shop was delightful to the senses, especially my purse. As we were checking out we began talking with the owner. She told us that she had been a stay at home single mother and when her youngest went to college she decided to pursue her dream of owning a consignment shop, since that is how she shopped while her children were growing up.

My daughter looked at me and said, "Oh mom she is just like you. Just think, in a few more years you will be able to pursue your dream. You must be so excited!"

I had a moment of pause.

Years back I stopped identifying myself as a single mom. I was and still am parenting solo, yet defining myself in such a way sounded a bit too victim like and martyr like at the same time.  I didn't want to be pitied and I didn't want to be placed on some pedestal. I just wanted to raise my children in a way that made sense to me. Staying home made most sense.

I have found fun and creative ways to create income.  I learned how to stretch a dollar quite a few miles.  However my main purpose and what filled me most was raising my three amazing children.

I am coming to the final stretches of having children at home. One is in his third year of college, my daughter is a college freshman and my youngest is a high school junior.

When I got divorced I decided that my marriage status was not going to define how I mothered. My big crazy dream was to be a stay at home single mom.  I can now see the the horizon and I am realizing that my dream came true. Somewhere in all of those years, many  kind of blurry, I made my dream come true. Day by day minute by minute it really happened.

So in response to my daughter I said with much pride, "Yes. I am a stay at home single mom. My dream came true! Basking in that will certainly be a spring board for what I dream for next."

Your children will see what you're all about by how you live rather than what you say. Wayne Dyer

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Bessings,
Virginia

Use Your Mindset To Achieve Your New Year Goals.

Your mindset can help you achieve your new years goal and every goal throughout the year.

We could spend millions of dollars to help us achieve our new year goal.

However, if we don't utilize our most treasured resource, all of that money will be wasted.

Our most treasured resource is between our ears.

Achieving anything requires paying attention to our thoughts, our words and our perception.

Here is a quick way to do just that.

Blessings,

Virginia


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Just In Case You Missed It. The Six Most Popular Blog Posts of 2016.

Here are my most popular blog posts of 2016.
Happy Reading.

Stop Searching and Start Discovering.

Five Ways to Embrace Our Sadness and Lean Into Healing

Love or Fear? You Choose.

Single Mom Thriving. As the Nest Empties

25 Ways to Sneak Exercise Into Your Day

The Power of November

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Many Blessings,
Virginia

20 Quick Clutter Busters

Feng Shui is a fun way to to make your home mirror your life. Yet, when it comes to getting rid of everything that we don't love, don't use , or is broken, the excitement wanes.

Tackling clutter is a never ending chore.  Clutter can multiply quicker than rabbits and too much can lead to stress.

Like all worthwhile pursuits, you only need to take it a step at a time.

Here are some of my favorite clutter busters:


1. Grab a trash bag and go through your house and toss out 27 items.

2.Determine which pieces of mail go in the recycling bin when you bring the mail in.

3.Tidy up at the end of each day.

4. Clean the kitchen after every meal.

5. Make sure everyday items like keys, backpacks, briefcases have a home.

6. Don't put it down. Put it away.

7. Pretend there is a river of energy running through your home. Where does the river get stuck? Tackle that area first

8.Eachday spend 15 to 25 minutes(much more and you will get overwhelmed) in the area from #7 and get rid of stuff.

9. Only keep what you absolutely love.

10. Keep a maybe box. Items that neither scream love or trash go here.

11. Set a date on your calendar a month from now to go through the maybe box again.

12. Clean off your desk at the end of everyday.

13. If it is broken, when will you fix it? Mark it on your calendar.

14. Same with unfinished craft projects. Set a date to finish them.

15.All of your clothes are supposed to make you feel absoutely gorgeous and be totally comfortable.        Everything else goes out.

16. Buy less.

17. Buy only what you absolutely need.

18. Clutter invites more clutter. Keep counters clear.

19. Limit thrift shops and garage sales.

20. Recognize that what you have already is enough. You are enough.

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Blessings,
Virginia

Monday's Course In Miracles

          You are a perfect creation.  ACIM

Four Steps to Successful New Year's Resolutions

I hate to break it to you. That New Years Resolution you just made probably won't stick.

Yes, perhaps today you followed through but what about come March?

Do you really see yourself doing it at that pace come March?

Most likely you will throw in the towel in a few weeks.

For the past few years  I have made the same resolution. To Get Organized. I never followed through. This year I applied a different strategy to that "Get Organized" that has been on the bottom of my resolution list for three years.

1. I clearly defined "Get Organized"
          I want to get rid of everything  that I do not need or love.

2. I became extremely clear on the WHY.
       I want to get organized because I love the feeling of open space. Possibilities seem endless when I can see space.
        I feel weighed down by too much stuff.
        Going through my stuff and getting rid of what no longer serves me is going to help me move into the next phase of my life. My next chapter of empty nest is scaring me a bit. I intuitively know the being organized will alleviate that fear.

3. I came up with an easy plan.
         I will spend 25 minutes each day clearing out. I chose the basement to start.

4. I gave myself wiggle room.
          If for some reason I cannot get my full 25 minutes that is okay. I will simply find something to organize. My email, the pictures on my phone, the kitchen drawer could all use a clearing out. The idea is that each day I will organize something.   Yes I will aim for the 25 minutes.  However, I won't skip the action all together. A two minute clear out will keep my momentum. A zero clear out will make me have to start all over.

Starting all over is so hard!

So whatever you resolved to do or not to do in 2017:

Clearly define it.
Compellingly answer why.
Make it easy to accomplish.
Give yourself wiggle room.
Don't quit!


What was your New Year's Resolution?

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Happy New Year!
Blessings,
Virginia