I cannot come up with a great blog post today so I will share this one from way back when. Brave is a lonely game.
I spent three hours sitting on the bleachers the other night watching my daughter play two basket ball games. I am a quiet person and that group of spectators held no close friends. So I watched the games and also people watched. My monkey mind went into over drive.
"Look at all of the grandparents here. I wonder what that would be like," I thought and the big heavy ache of having no living parents arrived in my solar plexus. I squeezed my eyes to push down the tears and tried to bring my focus back to my beautiful daughter giving her all on the court.
I heard laughing and talking among the spectators and my monkey mind headed into a train wreck of feelings and thoughts of being alone, wishing there was somebody with me, missing my parents and feeling like I didn't belong. For three hours I went back and forth from the monkey mind to my daughter. It was exhausting.
We arrived home to a messy kitchen and two teenagers sprawled watching TV. Immediately I wanted to scream about the mess and homework and TV rules.
But I didn't.
My quest to be brave in 2014 includes being braver in dealing with my emotions. Yelling about the mess wouldn't be about the mess. It would be a clever way of numbing the real angst I felt inside. Those three hours of monkey mind gymnastics left me raw. I made tea and decided to sit and breathe and mostly just give myself some space to honor that big heavy ache.
Thank God I did. As I made my tea, I realized that the mess included dinner for my daughter and I. Spaghetti and meatballs, salad and rolls were prepared by my youngest. I expressed my gratitude and sat down with my tea.
My eldest walked by and said,"You look kinda depressed."
I looked up and realized all sets of blues were on me. I could have said, "I am fine hon."
But I didn't. I chose brave instead. I told them how I felt at the games and that I was still a little sad.
From there a conversation began about times each of us have felt that totally crappy feeling of 'aloneness' and 'not belonging'. The big heavy ache dissipated. A memorable family conversation about universal feelings was shared. The homework got done and the house got picked up. I felt brave.
Blessings,
Virginia
Showing posts with label Virginia McCormack MS. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Virginia McCormack MS. Show all posts
Single Mom Thriving:Dreams Come True
With much excitement, my daughter and I finally got our schedules in sync so we could hit the new consignment store in town. We share a passion for second hand shops.
The shop was delightful to the senses, especially my purse. As we were checking out we began talking with the owner. She told us that she had been a stay at home single mother and when her youngest went to college she decided to pursue her dream of owning a consignment shop, since that is how she shopped while her children were growing up.
My daughter looked at me and said, "Oh mom she is just like you. Just think, in a few more years you will be able to pursue your dream. You must be so excited!"
I had a moment of pause.
Years back I stopped identifying myself as a single mom. I was and still am parenting solo, yet defining myself in such a way sounded a bit too victim like and martyr like at the same time. I didn't want to be pitied and I didn't want to be placed on some pedestal. I just wanted to raise my children in a way that made sense to me. Staying home made most sense.
I have found fun and creative ways to create income. I learned how to stretch a dollar quite a few miles. However my main purpose and what filled me most was raising my three amazing children.
I am coming to the final stretches of having children at home. One is in his third year of college, my daughter is a college freshman and my youngest is a high school junior.
When I got divorced I decided that my marriage status was not going to define how I mothered. My big crazy dream was to be a stay at home single mom. I can now see the the horizon and I am realizing that my dream came true. Somewhere in all of those years, many kind of blurry, I made my dream come true. Day by day minute by minute it really happened.
So in response to my daughter I said with much pride, "Yes. I am a stay at home single mom. My dream came true! Basking in that will certainly be a spring board for what I dream for next."
Your children will see what you're all about by how you live rather than what you say. Wayne Dyer
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Bessings,
Virginia
The shop was delightful to the senses, especially my purse. As we were checking out we began talking with the owner. She told us that she had been a stay at home single mother and when her youngest went to college she decided to pursue her dream of owning a consignment shop, since that is how she shopped while her children were growing up.
My daughter looked at me and said, "Oh mom she is just like you. Just think, in a few more years you will be able to pursue your dream. You must be so excited!"
I had a moment of pause.
Years back I stopped identifying myself as a single mom. I was and still am parenting solo, yet defining myself in such a way sounded a bit too victim like and martyr like at the same time. I didn't want to be pitied and I didn't want to be placed on some pedestal. I just wanted to raise my children in a way that made sense to me. Staying home made most sense.
I have found fun and creative ways to create income. I learned how to stretch a dollar quite a few miles. However my main purpose and what filled me most was raising my three amazing children.
I am coming to the final stretches of having children at home. One is in his third year of college, my daughter is a college freshman and my youngest is a high school junior.
When I got divorced I decided that my marriage status was not going to define how I mothered. My big crazy dream was to be a stay at home single mom. I can now see the the horizon and I am realizing that my dream came true. Somewhere in all of those years, many kind of blurry, I made my dream come true. Day by day minute by minute it really happened.
So in response to my daughter I said with much pride, "Yes. I am a stay at home single mom. My dream came true! Basking in that will certainly be a spring board for what I dream for next."
Your children will see what you're all about by how you live rather than what you say. Wayne Dyer
Sign up to receive your free feng shui ebook.
Bessings,
Virginia
Monday's Course in Miracles
My daily spiritual practice includes studying A Course in Miracles. Each Monday I share a quote from the text.
I will direct you to wherever you can be truly helpful, and to whoever can follow my guidance through you. ACIM
I will direct you to wherever you can be truly helpful, and to whoever can follow my guidance through you. ACIM
Friday's Feng Shui Is Back
I teach courses on Feng Shui and I also incorporate it in my coaching practice. It is a wonderful tool in creating a more tranquil life.
This is the ninth and final Bagua Map lesson. The bagua map shows you where the nine areas of your life (guas) are located within your home. In each lesson I give you tips on how to enhance one of your guas. This lesson explores the Love and Marriage gua which is located in the farthest right corner of your home.
Love/Marriage is a no brainer as defined by the general population. Yet I invite you to explore it further than Hallmark. Love for yourself sustains you way more than heart shaped boxes and diamonds.
A deep love for yourself means you stop beating yourself up. You celebrate your successes, even the small ones. You honor your voice and your unique way of seeing and being in the world. Most importantly you treat yourself as love itself because,
You Are Love
When enhancing this area try this:
Because it is outside, I enhanced the wall adjacent to the area by painting it pink and hanging this picture.
Remember Feng Shui is pronounced FUN Shway. Have fun making your home a mirror to your wonderful life.
With Love,
Virginia
This is the ninth and final Bagua Map lesson. The bagua map shows you where the nine areas of your life (guas) are located within your home. In each lesson I give you tips on how to enhance one of your guas. This lesson explores the Love and Marriage gua which is located in the farthest right corner of your home.
Love/Marriage is a no brainer as defined by the general population. Yet I invite you to explore it further than Hallmark. Love for yourself sustains you way more than heart shaped boxes and diamonds.
A deep love for yourself means you stop beating yourself up. You celebrate your successes, even the small ones. You honor your voice and your unique way of seeing and being in the world. Most importantly you treat yourself as love itself because,
You Are Love
When enhancing this area try this:
* Always start with an intention. I like this simple prayer, " Dear God show me how to love myself more so I can show up to life as love"
* Keep it clean and get rid of the clutter.
* Pinks and reds are great colors for this area
* Make sure the decor is in pairs.
This area is outside of my home. I marked the corner by burying a rose quartz. In that area is our fire pit.
* Keep it clean and get rid of the clutter.
* Pinks and reds are great colors for this area
* Make sure the decor is in pairs.
This area is outside of my home. I marked the corner by burying a rose quartz. In that area is our fire pit.
Because it is outside, I enhanced the wall adjacent to the area by painting it pink and hanging this picture.
Remember Feng Shui is pronounced FUN Shway. Have fun making your home a mirror to your wonderful life.
With Love,
Virginia
Monday's Course in Miracles
My daily spiritual practice includes studying the Course in Miracles. Each Monday I share a quote from the text.
Child of God, you were created to create the good, the beautiful and the holy. Do not forget this. ACIM
Child of God, you were created to create the good, the beautiful and the holy. Do not forget this. ACIM
Monday's Course in Miracles
My daily spiritual practice includes studying The Course in Miracles. Each Monday I share a quote from the text.
The Christ in you is very still.He knows where you are going and He leads you there in gentleness and blessing all the way. ACIM
The Christ in you is very still.He knows where you are going and He leads you there in gentleness and blessing all the way. ACIM
Wednesdays "Whats growing?"
Peonies are blooming!
A garage makeover has been started.
An abundance of flowers.
A mess.
My gardening nails and my moms diamond ring:
Just as I remember it on her garden loving hand.
Blessed!
A garage makeover has been started.
An abundance of flowers.
A mess.
My gardening nails and my moms diamond ring:
Just as I remember it on her garden loving hand.
Blessed!
Tuesday's Tips: Waiting
When driving and there is no traffic light, I always go right, even if I have to go left.
I have put many a necessary item back on the shelf because the check out lines were too long.
Young children should never hear me when a coach runs practice late and I am sitting in my van. (Cuss words galore!)
When the 'tires crunching' in the driveway doesn't happen at the agreed upon time, I become an absolute mess, convinced the worst has happened.
I am not good at waiting.
Recently, I waited ten days for an outcome.
I am not good at waiting.
It wasn't pretty.
I tried to escape:
*I ate a lot of comfort food and indulged in my 'every now and then' favorites. Cheetos and corn chips out of the bag anyone?
*I drank quite a few glasses of wine to ease up the angst.
*I cleaned like a crazy woman.
*I ran hard. I danced even harder. I worked ferociously in the garden.
Thoughts of wisdom came:
"How can this one thing determine good/bad ,sick/healthy?"
"Right now I feel great. That is all that matters."
"This future thing will not take away the joy I feel now."
"I am letting my thoughts of the unknown rule me. I could let what is happening NOW rule me."
My thoughts of wisdom saved me as did the sweat and the snacks and the wine.
I did my sweet happy dance celebration when I received the news and I am one blessed woman.
Yet, waiting.
How does one learn to wait?
A few of my newly learned gems
*Appreciate everything right now!
Right now for me: My jammies are so soft. My teen boys are building legos upstairs.My girl is happy at her summer program. Thank you God.
*Wait at every stop light, every long line and every left turn. Wait and recite the day's Course of Miracles quote.
*Wait and find ten things you appreciate.
* Wait and find a happy memory as a kid.
*Wait and know the best is yet to come.
*Wait and know; Right hand turns are the best course of action in the summer in a tourist town.
*Wait and know this too will bloom with an abundance of food.
I have put many a necessary item back on the shelf because the check out lines were too long.
Young children should never hear me when a coach runs practice late and I am sitting in my van. (Cuss words galore!)
When the 'tires crunching' in the driveway doesn't happen at the agreed upon time, I become an absolute mess, convinced the worst has happened.
I am not good at waiting.
Recently, I waited ten days for an outcome.
I am not good at waiting.
It wasn't pretty.
I tried to escape:
*I ate a lot of comfort food and indulged in my 'every now and then' favorites. Cheetos and corn chips out of the bag anyone?
*I drank quite a few glasses of wine to ease up the angst.
*I cleaned like a crazy woman.
*I ran hard. I danced even harder. I worked ferociously in the garden.
Thoughts of wisdom came:
"How can this one thing determine good/bad ,sick/healthy?"
"Right now I feel great. That is all that matters."
"This future thing will not take away the joy I feel now."
"I am letting my thoughts of the unknown rule me. I could let what is happening NOW rule me."
My thoughts of wisdom saved me as did the sweat and the snacks and the wine.
I did my sweet happy dance celebration when I received the news and I am one blessed woman.
Yet, waiting.
How does one learn to wait?
A few of my newly learned gems
*Appreciate everything right now!
Right now for me: My jammies are so soft. My teen boys are building legos upstairs.My girl is happy at her summer program. Thank you God.
*Wait at every stop light, every long line and every left turn. Wait and recite the day's Course of Miracles quote.
*Wait and find ten things you appreciate.
* Wait and find a happy memory as a kid.
*Wait and know the best is yet to come.
*Wait and know; Right hand turns are the best course of action in the summer in a tourist town.
*Wait and know this too will bloom with an abundance of food.
Monday's Course in Miracles
My daily spiritual practice includes studying The Course in Miracles. Each Monday I share a quote from the text.
I do not believe that there is an order of difficulty in miracles; you do. ACIM
I do not believe that there is an order of difficulty in miracles; you do. ACIM
Monday's Course in Miracles
My daily spiritual practice includes studying the Course in Miracles. Each Monday I share the lesson of the day or a quote from the text.
Let miracles replace all grievances. ACIM
Let miracles replace all grievances. ACIM
Ways to Get Unstuck
We have gotten close to five feet of snow this past month. Snow removal is done the old fashioned way, with a shovel. Needless to say the end of my driveway has gotten quite thin. The turnaround requires an eight point turn and I long gave up on shoveling the path to the front door. The roof ,however, needed to be tended to.
I decided to tackle it alone one day in lieu of my exercise routine. I put on my snow shoes and all of my gear and headed outside. After two hours, my arms felt like dead weight and my neck and back were starting to ache but my determination (stubborn streak) won. So I continued.
Then I fell over into the five foot snow.
I tried to get up using my hands as leverage but they just sank into the snow. I tried maneuvering my snow shoed feet but I couldn't. This went on for a good ten minutes or so and fear crept in.
"I am stuck in my yard in the snow. My phone is on the kitchen counter. Nobody will be home until....until i pick them up at 4 pm. That is 6 hours from now. I am screwed!"
Then some self berating, "How could you be so stupid? You could have had them help later on. You should have your phone on you."
I laid back onto the snow and looked at the perfect blue sky. I breathed in the fresh air and relaxed. I felt thankful for the beauty and my strong arms
and that I wasn't hurt.
From there I proceeded to laugh until my stomach hurt.
After a bit, I came up with a brilliant, wacky idea. I log rolled across my front yard until I got to the shoveled driveway and rolled right off the bank. I stood up still laughing and went inside for some tea.
Ways to get unstuck:
1. Give yourself breaks. Your body knows more than your stubborn nature.
2. Have help available.
3. Trying to get different results doing the same thing over and over again never works.
4. Find something to appreciate
5.Relax
6. Be kind to your self
7. Laugh
8. Let the answer come and if it sounds crazy try it anyways.
I decided to tackle it alone one day in lieu of my exercise routine. I put on my snow shoes and all of my gear and headed outside. After two hours, my arms felt like dead weight and my neck and back were starting to ache but my determination (stubborn streak) won. So I continued.
Then I fell over into the five foot snow.
I tried to get up using my hands as leverage but they just sank into the snow. I tried maneuvering my snow shoed feet but I couldn't. This went on for a good ten minutes or so and fear crept in.
"I am stuck in my yard in the snow. My phone is on the kitchen counter. Nobody will be home until....until i pick them up at 4 pm. That is 6 hours from now. I am screwed!"
Then some self berating, "How could you be so stupid? You could have had them help later on. You should have your phone on you."
I laid back onto the snow and looked at the perfect blue sky. I breathed in the fresh air and relaxed. I felt thankful for the beauty and my strong arms
and that I wasn't hurt.
From there I proceeded to laugh until my stomach hurt.
After a bit, I came up with a brilliant, wacky idea. I log rolled across my front yard until I got to the shoveled driveway and rolled right off the bank. I stood up still laughing and went inside for some tea.
Ways to get unstuck:
1. Give yourself breaks. Your body knows more than your stubborn nature.
2. Have help available.
3. Trying to get different results doing the same thing over and over again never works.
4. Find something to appreciate
5.Relax
6. Be kind to your self
7. Laugh
8. Let the answer come and if it sounds crazy try it anyways.
The Power Of A List
I was expressing to a dear friend of how alone I felt in dealing with a current situation. It is a common theme in my single mom life and it paralyzes me each and every time. The thought," I can't do this all alone," freezes my mind and deflates my heart........Not the best way to create positive results.
After hearing me out, my friend lovingly suggested that I make a list of everything I have accomplished 'all alone' in these years of being a single parent.
What a genius idea!
Reading my list immediately lifted my heart.
I can't do this all alone suddenly became I CAN do this.
Nothing about the situation changed. I am still in the midst of dealing with it and some of it is cruddy, yet looking at my list of accomplishments has given me courage and hope and a 'you go girl' attitude.
I invite you to do the same. Make a list of everything you have accomplished and let it serve as a reminder to how strong you truly are!
After hearing me out, my friend lovingly suggested that I make a list of everything I have accomplished 'all alone' in these years of being a single parent.
What a genius idea!
Reading my list immediately lifted my heart.
I can't do this all alone suddenly became I CAN do this.
Nothing about the situation changed. I am still in the midst of dealing with it and some of it is cruddy, yet looking at my list of accomplishments has given me courage and hope and a 'you go girl' attitude.
I invite you to do the same. Make a list of everything you have accomplished and let it serve as a reminder to how strong you truly are!
Monday's Course in Miracles
My daily spiritual practice includes reading and meditating with the Course in Miracles. Each Monday I post the day's lesson.
Let all things be exactly as they are. ACIM
Let all things be exactly as they are. ACIM
A Present From God
I love September. For me it symbolizes new beginnings.
This year the new beginning has hit especially hard as I am adjusting to having my eldest away at college. Much of my thinking is of days ahead and the questions swirl in my brain.
"What will it be like when E goes to college?"
"What will it be like when S goes to college?"
"What will it be like when I have an empty nest?"
The thoughts that follow are both exciting and scary. I plot and plan and then change my mind and plot and plan and change my mind as I think of my future life. Today as I was out running with those thoughts rushing through my head.
I stopped.
I love setting goals and creating a vision of how I want to live. We all need to do that. However all of those thoughts were taking me away from now.
Now is our present from God
This year the new beginning has hit especially hard as I am adjusting to having my eldest away at college. Much of my thinking is of days ahead and the questions swirl in my brain.
"What will it be like when E goes to college?"
"What will it be like when S goes to college?"
"What will it be like when I have an empty nest?"
The thoughts that follow are both exciting and scary. I plot and plan and then change my mind and plot and plan and change my mind as I think of my future life. Today as I was out running with those thoughts rushing through my head.
I stopped.
I love setting goals and creating a vision of how I want to live. We all need to do that. However all of those thoughts were taking me away from now.
Now is our present from God
Monday's Course in Miracles
My daily spiritual practice includes reading and meditating with A Course of Miracles. Each Monday I share the day's lesson.
Creation's gentleness is all I see. ACIM
Creation's gentleness is all I see. ACIM
Monday's Course in Miracles
My daily spiritual practice includes reading and meditating to The Course in Miracles. Each Monday I share the days lesson.
God is but Love, and therefore so am I. ACIM
God is but Love, and therefore so am I. ACIM
Mondays Course in Miracles
My daily spiritual practice includes reading and meditating with the Course in Miracles. Each Monday I share the days meditation.
I will receive whatever I request. ACIM
I will receive whatever I request. ACIM
Mondays Course in Miracles
My daily spiritual practice includes reading and meditating on A Course in Miracles. Each Monday I post the lesson of the day.
I judge all things as I would have them be....
He will relieve us of the agony of all of the judgments we have made against ourselves, and re establish peace of mind. ACIM
I judge all things as I would have them be....
He will relieve us of the agony of all of the judgments we have made against ourselves, and re establish peace of mind. ACIM
Mondays Course in Miracles
My daily spiritual practice includes reading and meditating on a Course in Miracles. Each Monday I share a lesson from the course.
There is no room in us for fear today, for we have welcomed love into our hearts. ACIM
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