Single Mom Thriving:Alternative Facts Are Just False.

  

The alternative facts about a single mom have always astounded me. This is a short list of some of the real truths about us single moms. It is a list based on my own experience as well as the hundreds of single moms I have coached, friended and adored.

1. We are not taking advantage of the 'system'. If a fair system actually existed, all single mothers would receive fair and timely child support.

2. Those of us who received (or are receiving) government assistance are ashamed. We are mothers who swallowed great pride to care for our children.

3. Many of us were turned down from government assistance, food pantries and church donations. Oh dear God, the stories I have heard on the why to this one would make your spine shiver.  It could be an entire blog post. Suffice to say, even the so called 'do gooders' have judgements about single moms.

4. Being turned down was okay. We single moms know how to build a tribe. Safety nets are built of friends who love us. They love us because single moms love fiercely.

5. We are not lazy! I invite you to take a group of children (or even just one) 24/7 while they all have the flu. Just as they are recovering you get it. Then talk to me about lazy.

6. Married moms, I have yet to meet a great single mom who is interested in sleeping with someone else's husband. Look back at #5. We are tired!! Stop worrying.

7. Married moms ,we do ,however, so appreciate when your husband shows up to help. The last snow storm, my client's neighbor (married guy) snow blowed her driveway. My single mom client was doing #5. Two kids puking every hour . #4, Amen

8. Kids raised by single moms do not live a life of doom. Most are very normal. Most are very loved!

9. Kids being raised by single moms get on the honor roll, get in the school play, get to excell at sports, get scholarships, get into great colleges just like everyone else. Let's stop thinking a kid raised by a single mom is destined to anything less than great.

10. Kids being raised by single moms....One became the best President this nation has ever seeen. Thank you  President Obama for showing us single moms that our kids can be as great as you!

Blessings,

Virginia

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Our Stories are Based on Alternative Facts.

        We have stories attached to everything.

We have a money story
We have a relationship story.
We have a body story.
We have a career story.

When we have issues with anything in the list above,  our story is not true. It is based on 'alternative facts.'

Those alternative facts are based on a story we have told ourselves repeatedly based on what happened in the past.

We aren't doing anything wrong. We are just believing a false story.

Our job is to rewrite the story. We rewrite our story by simply removing the debris that is covering who we really are.

    Who we really are is a being of light and love.
    Who we really are can accomplish anything.
    Who we really are is absolutely perfect.


This morning I set the stage to pay my bills. I lit a candle.  I made tea and put my Pandora station to Jim Brickman.

WHAM! Out of nowhere came panic. My heart was racing. I felt a heaviness in my solar plexus. All I wanted to do was run.

I have been doing the anxiety dance most of my life. I have learned, the hard way, that the only way out is through. 

SO I just stopped and became curious. I became aware of my breath and my body sensations.

I talked to my feelings, " Thanks for dropping by panic. I have got this covered. I have enough. But thanks for your help."

That was it. Then I got back to the task at hand.

The ego wants to terrorize us with our thoughts and feelings. But they are only thoughts and feelings telling us a false story of who we really are.

The good news is, each time we become curious about  uncomfortable thoughts and feelings, we remove another piece of debris.  And get closer  to who we really are.

There are no alternative facts to who we really are.

We are love.

Blessings,
Virginia,

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