Forgive and Forget.
Is that really possible when you have been hurt by someone you love?
Forgiveness used to frighten me. I thought that if I forgave, I was somehow being weak. Only when I understood what forgiveness is NOT could I receive it's gift.
Forgiveness is not condoning or even accepting the behavior of the person who hurt us.
Forgiveness doesn't mean we will never have feelings about the the situation.
Forgiveness doesn't mean we will forget.
Forgiveness doesn't even involve the other person.
Forgiveness can only happen after we have delved into our feelings around the hurt. Often times that delving involves a therapist, a coach, or a trusted friend.
Forgiveness starts as a willingness and in time leads to no longer being a victim of our circumstances.
Forgiveness has nothing to do with the other person and everything to do with you. Once you have forgiven you are free from those dark feelings of revenge and bitterness and resentment. Once you have forgiven you can look ahead to a brighter future.
One of my favorite prayers:
"Dear God, Help me to forgive. Help me to see love and not fear."
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