Feng Shui Friday

I teach courses on Feng Shui and I also incorporate it in my coaching practice and in my own home. It is a wonderful tool in creating a more tranquil and enjoyable life. I am dedicating Friday's blog to all things Feng Shui.

This is the third week of the nine week Bagua Map course. The Bagua map shows where the nine areas (guas) are located in your home.Each week I will give you tips on how to enhance one of the guas in your life in each area of your home. This week I will cover Abundant Blessings.

The abundance blessings area, often referred to as the money corner, isn't all about money. It is located in the far left area of your home and it is about being grateful for all of your blessings. I like to refer to this gua as the gratitude area. What we are grateful for expands.

Ways to enhance this area;
*Always start with cleaning and decluttering.
*Pictures and objects that symbolize abundance to you.
*A fountain or picture of raging water.
*The color purple or gold.

My gratitude area is outside due to a screened porch and deck that juts out of the back middle of my house. I marked the corner with a bird feeder. I   love watching the birds from my kitchen window. Right now there is an abundance of snow.

I have a garden overflowing with tiger lilies under all of that snow.

When you have an area outside, it is important to enhance the adjacent room's area.  Right now my fruit art is in the far left in my kitchen. Now that is some yummy grateful abundance !

Have fun! Remember Feng Shui is pronounced FUN Shway. Enjoy making your home a mirror of your wonderful life.

Blessings,

Virginia

Seven Ways To Beat Sadness

I dropped my daughter at college last week. She is my second child to fly the coop.  I thought it would be easy since it was my second time launching a child to college.

It wasn't easy. I felt sad really,really sad. I felt silly for being so sad. I had the urge to compare my feelings with everyone else's feelings.

The burden of sadness, like all moods, did eventually pass.

Here is what helped.



1. Allow the sadness.
     
     My sadness caught me off guard and my first response was to deny it. Then I made it even worse when I judged my sadness. Feelings are just feelings.  They come and go.  Denying and judging  them makes them stay longer.

2. Don't compare.

     Everyone experiences life differently.  As Franklin Roosevelt said, "Comparison is the thief of joy."

3. Move your body 

     I am an avid exerciser ,but in that sadness, all I wanted to do was curl up with netflix. I forced myself to get outside for a walk. It helped immensely.

4. Cry,

     Crying is beneficial and usually makes you feel better. In allowing my feelings, I also allowed myself to cry.

5, Clean

In the words of Gretchen Rubin  "Outer order brings inner calm".  Clean kitchen counters always brighten my mood.

6. Eat 

    I am an emotional non-eater.  So I picked the cheerful color orange and ate that; cantalope, carrots, oranges, mangoes, cheese, cheese doodles, salmon.

7. Gratitude

   Even in the midst of any sadness there are shimmers of light. Be grateful for those shimmers.

Monday's Course in Miracles

My daily spiritual practice includes studying  A Course in Miracles. Each Monday I share a quote from the text.

What Are You Receiving?

Late last year a long held dream came to fruition and I was simply overcome with gratitude. I was walking around  in utter amazement of my good fortune and I simply couldn't say thank you enough.

In my state of awe, a dear friend said to me, " You need to receive better. You are acting as if you don't deserve this."

What?

As we delved deeper into the meaning behind her words I knew she was right. Being grateful was the mask of my perceived unworthiness.

A Course in Miracles states that giving and receiving are one. We receive what we are giving and we give what we receive. There is no mention of gratitude.

It is important to be grateful but sometimes our state of gratitude is so giant that we forget we are deserving of all good.

One Christmas when I was little I made gifts for my nine siblings and my parents. I was so excited about those gifts.  As each family member opened their present I got a smile and a thank you. That was it. I felt so sad. I wanted a more excited reaction. My gifts weren't received, even though they each said thank you ever so politely.

God must feel the same.  We list  thank yous in journals and on our Facebook feed. We smile and say thank you to compliments. But do we really receive the gifts?

I invite you to stop and ask yourself, "What am I receiving right now?"

And next time you receive a gift, even one that is not wrapped in shiny paper, allow yourself to savor it before you rush into gratitude.

Moving From Disappointment to Gratitude

There seems to be a false notion that a spiritual person rarely suffers from disappointment or anger or sadness. The problem with such a belief is that when you do strive for a more spiritual existence negative feelings that show up are viewed as bad and thus stuffed down.

I am a perfect example of such wacky thinking. Recently I suffered from what I perceived as an enormous let down. My children's father and his family were planning a vacation. I saw it as my first opportunity in years to take a mini vacation for myself.  I started saving whatever I could and began plotting and planning the 'Great Single Momma Escape". My escape crashed into pieces when I realized one of my children would be staying behind because of a play off game.

I cried.
I yelled.
I cried some more.
I complained.
I felt sorry for myself.
I complained some more.
I got mad at myself for feeling so angry and hurt and disappointed.
I got mad at myself some more.
I put on the martyr jacket and became grouchy and short tempered.

It was quite the few weeks and I grew tired of my self inflicted drama. So I stopped, put my butt down and prayed. Then I wrote it all out in brutal honesty and gave myself permission to feel those not so pretty feelings. I carefully chose one person to share my hurt. I chose the person who would empathize but not pity. It felt so great to allow myself to feel without the self- judgment and blame.

I was disappointed. Period. My trip was not going to happen. Period. Instead of  staying disappointed I tried to capture what I wanted from this trip. I wanted an escape from the 24/7 parenting. I wanted to feel carefree. I wanted time where all that mattered was me.

My next question was how could I feel that without the great single momma escape?  I tried to remember times I felt carefree, far away from the 24/7 parenting where all that mattered was me. That was the feeling I was trying to capture. I didn't need five days sans kiddos to get that. I could do it now. I could do a little bit of it every week even everyday.

So  I started running different beaches in Southern Maine. I am giving myself a few hours to hike different trails with my puppy. I am going to start biking again. The money I saved is now marked as 'Mini Single Momma Escapes'.

The disappointment has vanished. I am having a blast planning my mini  escapes.

I am now so excited to have this one child home alone with me for a few days. Next year he will be in college. What a gift it will be to have this time with just him.

                                           The view from my latest Single Momma Escape

                                                                I am so blessed