Please don't believe them. Don't make the media's expectation your reality.
Yes! Strong feelings come up this time of year for everyone.
They are only feelings. All feelings come and go. We just need to sit with the feeling without judging it. Then it will pass in less than 2 minutes.
When we deny it, fight it, or judge it, the feeling stays.
Last week it hit me that my daughter in college would only be home for 12 days during her winter break. This is also a year my children spend Christmas Eve and Christmas morning with their dad. A big whirl of sadness landed inside of me.
Immediately I berated myself with nasty self talk,
"She is doing really amazingly cool things in between semesters. You should be happy for her."
"You have been splitting Chistmases with their dad since forever. Get over it."
"It is Christmas time. Be joyful."
The whirl of sadness didn't go away. It got worse. I started feeling victimized,sorry for myself , cranky and irritable.
Luckily I was able to pull myself back. I stopped and let the feeling of sadness be there.
I miss my daughter.
I didn't judge myself or stuff down the sad and the missing because I was "supposed' to be happy. I simply felt it.
And just like that it floated on by.
A few moments of sadness does NOT mean I am a single mom consumed with sadness.
A few moments of sadness means I am a human.
The same goes with feeling lonely. Everyone on the planet feels lonely sometimes.
Loneliness has nothing to do with being a single mom.
Loneliness is a result of you not knowing you.
Robert Holden often says that if something is missing in your life it is probably you.
When I feel lonely I simply ask myself what I need.
The answer is usually time with myself.
Sometimes after time with myself it means reaching out to a friend. Sometimes time with myself is all it takes to make the loneliness float by.
Sadness and loneliness are not single mom attributes.
Sadness and loneliness just may be a part of the Christmas experience.
When we feel whatever comes up, Love comes come back.
Single moms rock!
Blessings,
Virginia
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