A garage makeover has been started.
An abundance of flowers.
A mess.
My gardening nails and my moms diamond ring:
Just as I remember it on her garden loving hand.
Blessed!
Wednesdays "Whats growing?"
Peonies are blooming!
A garage makeover has been started.
An abundance of flowers.
A mess.
My gardening nails and my moms diamond ring:
Just as I remember it on her garden loving hand.
Blessed!
A garage makeover has been started.
An abundance of flowers.
A mess.
My gardening nails and my moms diamond ring:
Just as I remember it on her garden loving hand.
Blessed!
Tuesday's Tips: Waiting
When driving and there is no traffic light, I always go right, even if I have to go left.
I have put many a necessary item back on the shelf because the check out lines were too long.
Young children should never hear me when a coach runs practice late and I am sitting in my van. (Cuss words galore!)
When the 'tires crunching' in the driveway doesn't happen at the agreed upon time, I become an absolute mess, convinced the worst has happened.
I am not good at waiting.
Recently, I waited ten days for an outcome.
I am not good at waiting.
It wasn't pretty.
I tried to escape:
*I ate a lot of comfort food and indulged in my 'every now and then' favorites. Cheetos and corn chips out of the bag anyone?
*I drank quite a few glasses of wine to ease up the angst.
*I cleaned like a crazy woman.
*I ran hard. I danced even harder. I worked ferociously in the garden.
Thoughts of wisdom came:
"How can this one thing determine good/bad ,sick/healthy?"
"Right now I feel great. That is all that matters."
"This future thing will not take away the joy I feel now."
"I am letting my thoughts of the unknown rule me. I could let what is happening NOW rule me."
My thoughts of wisdom saved me as did the sweat and the snacks and the wine.
I did my sweet happy dance celebration when I received the news and I am one blessed woman.
Yet, waiting.
How does one learn to wait?
A few of my newly learned gems
*Appreciate everything right now!
Right now for me: My jammies are so soft. My teen boys are building legos upstairs.My girl is happy at her summer program. Thank you God.
*Wait at every stop light, every long line and every left turn. Wait and recite the day's Course of Miracles quote.
*Wait and find ten things you appreciate.
* Wait and find a happy memory as a kid.
*Wait and know the best is yet to come.
*Wait and know; Right hand turns are the best course of action in the summer in a tourist town.
*Wait and know this too will bloom with an abundance of food.
I have put many a necessary item back on the shelf because the check out lines were too long.
Young children should never hear me when a coach runs practice late and I am sitting in my van. (Cuss words galore!)
When the 'tires crunching' in the driveway doesn't happen at the agreed upon time, I become an absolute mess, convinced the worst has happened.
I am not good at waiting.
Recently, I waited ten days for an outcome.
I am not good at waiting.
It wasn't pretty.
I tried to escape:
*I ate a lot of comfort food and indulged in my 'every now and then' favorites. Cheetos and corn chips out of the bag anyone?
*I drank quite a few glasses of wine to ease up the angst.
*I cleaned like a crazy woman.
*I ran hard. I danced even harder. I worked ferociously in the garden.
Thoughts of wisdom came:
"How can this one thing determine good/bad ,sick/healthy?"
"Right now I feel great. That is all that matters."
"This future thing will not take away the joy I feel now."
"I am letting my thoughts of the unknown rule me. I could let what is happening NOW rule me."
My thoughts of wisdom saved me as did the sweat and the snacks and the wine.
I did my sweet happy dance celebration when I received the news and I am one blessed woman.
Yet, waiting.
How does one learn to wait?
A few of my newly learned gems
*Appreciate everything right now!
Right now for me: My jammies are so soft. My teen boys are building legos upstairs.My girl is happy at her summer program. Thank you God.
*Wait at every stop light, every long line and every left turn. Wait and recite the day's Course of Miracles quote.
*Wait and find ten things you appreciate.
* Wait and find a happy memory as a kid.
*Wait and know the best is yet to come.
*Wait and know; Right hand turns are the best course of action in the summer in a tourist town.
*Wait and know this too will bloom with an abundance of food.
Monday's Course in Miracles
My daily spiritual practice includes studying The Course in Miracles. Each Monday I share a quote from the text.
I do not believe that there is an order of difficulty in miracles; you do. ACIM
I do not believe that there is an order of difficulty in miracles; you do. ACIM
Monday's Course in Miracles
My daily spiritual practice includes reading The Course in Miracles. Each Monday I share a quote from the text.
Today's quote just may be the best ever! Thus the picture is the simplest. Truth is simple. AMEN.
Whenever you question your value say, "God Himself is incomplete without me." ACIM
Today's quote just may be the best ever! Thus the picture is the simplest. Truth is simple. AMEN.
Whenever you question your value say, "God Himself is incomplete without me." ACIM
My Garden. My Teacher
Love what is blooming.
Accept and be grateful for what is done blooming.
Have expectant joy for what is soon to bloom.
Accept and be grateful for what is done blooming.
Have expectant joy for what is soon to bloom.
Tuesday's Tips: ICDIA
Years back I invented a new word , ICDIA. It is pronounced ICK! DEE! AH!. All three syllables are spoken as three different words with the energy of a swear word.
I use it as sparingly as I use any swear word, and I love it.
ICDIA is an acronym for I Cannot Do It All.
I have this notion in my head that I can do it all and that I have to do it all and if I don't do it all everything will fall apart.
ICDIA is a 911 call to myself thus I act accordingly
1. Stop everything. Take three deep breaths.
I use it as sparingly as I use any swear word, and I love it.
ICDIA is an acronym for I Cannot Do It All.
I have this notion in my head that I can do it all and that I have to do it all and if I don't do it all everything will fall apart.
ICDIA is a 911 call to myself thus I act accordingly
1. Stop everything. Take three deep breaths.
2. Pray. Any prayer will do. I try to say my Course of Miracles quote of the day but a "God help" is sometimes all I can muster.
3. I make sure the kitchen counters are clear and my bedroom is immaculate.
4. To do list is tossed.
5. I make sure I do five acts of kindness to myself .
6 I make sure I do five acts of kindness to others.
Then I am brought back to the knowing. I cannot do it all .
Today I am thinking perhaps I should swear more.
ICDIA is a recipe for a wonderful day.
Monday's Course in Miracles
My daily spiritual practice includes studying the Course in Miracles. Each Monday I share the lesson of the day or a quote from the text.
Let miracles replace all grievances. ACIM
Let miracles replace all grievances. ACIM
Single Mom Thriving
I was talking to a friend the other day and she complimented me on raising my three children as a single mom. This friend has carried me through many dark times as I navigated single motherhood and has been one of my best cheerleaders. Her compliment meant the world to me and we started reminiscing of days gone by.
Our conversation got me thinking of who I was when this journey of single mother hood began. I remember the nightmares with the same theme; I am trying to get all three of my children to safety all by myself and am not succeeding. Those nightmares made falling back to sleep impossible. I remember the 'punch in the gut' feeling every time some single motherhood statistic came my way. I remember the constant fear and the fetal position cry I did after I put them to bed. All of that remembering made me want to go back to that Virginia and hug her, reassure her and tell her these five things.
1. Life loves you. This too shall pass. The joyful days ahead will astound you!
1, YES! Your intuitive decision to stay present for your children is spot on. Stop second guessing it. Stay at home /work from home moms do not need a marriage license.
2. YES! playing outside with your children is the best way to spend your time. Neighbors will think you are crazy, yet the memories will create many dinner table laughs years from now.
3. A mustard seed of faith is truly all you need. Help will show up in a million ways. You will be the recipient of Christmas presents for your children, more groceries than you can imagine, tanks of oil, help with your flooded basement, and many rides for your children.. just to name a few.
4. It won't be easy. There will be storms. However, your children are going to be just fine. Actually they will be better than fine. They will soar and your heart will burst with pride when you witness their dreams coming true.
5. Yes right now you are scared and feeling alone. Just beneath that smile are buckets of tears. However, one day you will look back. You will wonder how you did it and you will realize you were never ever alone. God always had and still has your back.
Our conversation got me thinking of who I was when this journey of single mother hood began. I remember the nightmares with the same theme; I am trying to get all three of my children to safety all by myself and am not succeeding. Those nightmares made falling back to sleep impossible. I remember the 'punch in the gut' feeling every time some single motherhood statistic came my way. I remember the constant fear and the fetal position cry I did after I put them to bed. All of that remembering made me want to go back to that Virginia and hug her, reassure her and tell her these five things.
1. Life loves you. This too shall pass. The joyful days ahead will astound you!
1, YES! Your intuitive decision to stay present for your children is spot on. Stop second guessing it. Stay at home /work from home moms do not need a marriage license.
2. YES! playing outside with your children is the best way to spend your time. Neighbors will think you are crazy, yet the memories will create many dinner table laughs years from now.
3. A mustard seed of faith is truly all you need. Help will show up in a million ways. You will be the recipient of Christmas presents for your children, more groceries than you can imagine, tanks of oil, help with your flooded basement, and many rides for your children.. just to name a few.
4. It won't be easy. There will be storms. However, your children are going to be just fine. Actually they will be better than fine. They will soar and your heart will burst with pride when you witness their dreams coming true.
5. Yes right now you are scared and feeling alone. Just beneath that smile are buckets of tears. However, one day you will look back. You will wonder how you did it and you will realize you were never ever alone. God always had and still has your back.
Perfect Timing
When the first greens started popping in my perennial garden, I frantically searched for the pointy heads of my lillies of the valley. I had planted them in honor of my mom as they were her favorite. Everyday I looked for their little buds and everyday I was disappointed. I thought for sure my over zealous black eyed susans had choked them out. So I stopped looking and focused on the many emerging perennials.
Today I came across these.
Once again my garden has taught me that life happens in perfect timing, not my timing.
Today I came across these.
Once again my garden has taught me that life happens in perfect timing, not my timing.
Monday's Course in Miracles
My happiness and my function are one. ACIM
Empty Spaces
Ten years back, just a few years in to single parenting, I decided to make a fresh start. On a wing and a prayer, I moved from New Hampshire to Maine. One of the reasons I bought this home was the amazingly kid friendly back yard. I knew the gigantic swing set, the play hut and the acre of woods would be the perfect place for my children to play, explore, create and grow.
Time passes. Those cuties are now bigger than me. The hours of back yard games and watching kids play in the woods and swings and in the back yard hut have somehow passed. The many dinners in the car between games and practices and the ping ponging from field to field have passed as well. Those were crazy and exhausting days. I made many sacrifices to be present for my children and I wouldn't change any of it.
As those years passed ,the swing set deteriorated and the back yard hut became a sagging collector of crap. So those 'bigger than me' cuties and I embarked on a demolition project. The swing set, the hut and years of collected stuff now lie in here.
The emptying has created a vacant spot. A vacancy similar to the one I feel in myself , as single mothering has become more vague. My day to day life is no longer overflowing with single mom responsibilities. I feel both a sadness and an excitement. That dumpster symbolizes the new space I am creating for myself. As each of my children take steps into their futures, away from me, I get to take a journey filling the new spaces in my life.
Spring Miracles
My beloved lilac bush that sits adjacent to my home got pummeled this past winter. More than six feet of snow landed on it. Plus the snow that needed to be shoveled off of the roof fell on it. Many branches snapped and the ones that remained intact arched to the ground with icicles dangling. I was so overwhelmed with the shoveling, the roof raking, and the endless ice dams I pretty much gave up on the lilac bush's survival.
Evidently once again I underestimated the power of solid roots and the miracles of spring. My lilac bush has never looked more beautiful or smelled more lovely in the years I have been here.
That lilac bush is the perfect metaphor of life. We have all lived through snapped branches, and the piling and piling of life on top of us. People have given up on us and we may have given up on ourselves. Then spring comes and somehow we are more vital, more joyous and stronger both in spite of life's storms and because of life's storms.
Evidently once again I underestimated the power of solid roots and the miracles of spring. My lilac bush has never looked more beautiful or smelled more lovely in the years I have been here.
That lilac bush is the perfect metaphor of life. We have all lived through snapped branches, and the piling and piling of life on top of us. People have given up on us and we may have given up on ourselves. Then spring comes and somehow we are more vital, more joyous and stronger both in spite of life's storms and because of life's storms.
Tuesdays Tips: The Voices in Your Head
We all have them and often they are not kind. Thoughts that say you that you are not good enough, smart enough, thin enough, clever enough, or 'fill in the blank' enough can easily take over and eradicate all of the goodness that is YOU.
I have a few tricks to tame those thoughts.
1. Louise Hay's mirror work.
Every time I look at my reflection in the mirror I say some version of" I love you Virginia." First thing in the morning I add, "Today is going to be the best day ever." When I am feeling vulnerable and scared I change Virginia to Gin Gin. My Dad called me Gin Gin. Referring to myself as Gin Gin reminds me that, although in heaven, my dad is still with me.
2. Take yourself lightly.
Each day,sometimes more than once you will find me dancing like a goof nut. If you are breathing you can dance. When you are done dancing, laugh at yourself. On prom day my daughter asked if I would run out to get her hairspray. I had just gotten out of the shower and had slathered Nivea all over my face. Without even looking in a mirror, I tossed on clothes and sped off to CVS. I saw four people I know, the store was packed and the handsome man who looked at me received a flirtatious comment. When I got into he car I happened to catch a glance of myself. The right side of my face had white blotches of Nivea cream that I hadn't rubbed in. I laughed until I almost peed.
3. Name the pesky voice and talk to it.
I call mine Negative Nellie. I have written numerous letters to Negative Nellie and I talk back to her. Naming and conversing with that pesky voice reminds me that I am NOT my thoughts.
4. Talk to precious, adorable little you.
I keep an adorable picture of myself at 7 right next to my computer. I look at that picture as I write, pay bills, or peek at social media. If that pesky "not enough" thought pops up all I have to do is look at adorable me.
I am more than enough . You are more than enough .
I have a few tricks to tame those thoughts.
1. Louise Hay's mirror work.
Every time I look at my reflection in the mirror I say some version of" I love you Virginia." First thing in the morning I add, "Today is going to be the best day ever." When I am feeling vulnerable and scared I change Virginia to Gin Gin. My Dad called me Gin Gin. Referring to myself as Gin Gin reminds me that, although in heaven, my dad is still with me.
2. Take yourself lightly.
Each day,sometimes more than once you will find me dancing like a goof nut. If you are breathing you can dance. When you are done dancing, laugh at yourself. On prom day my daughter asked if I would run out to get her hairspray. I had just gotten out of the shower and had slathered Nivea all over my face. Without even looking in a mirror, I tossed on clothes and sped off to CVS. I saw four people I know, the store was packed and the handsome man who looked at me received a flirtatious comment. When I got into he car I happened to catch a glance of myself. The right side of my face had white blotches of Nivea cream that I hadn't rubbed in. I laughed until I almost peed.
3. Name the pesky voice and talk to it.
I call mine Negative Nellie. I have written numerous letters to Negative Nellie and I talk back to her. Naming and conversing with that pesky voice reminds me that I am NOT my thoughts.
4. Talk to precious, adorable little you.
I keep an adorable picture of myself at 7 right next to my computer. I look at that picture as I write, pay bills, or peek at social media. If that pesky "not enough" thought pops up all I have to do is look at adorable me.
I am more than enough . You are more than enough .
Blessings,
Virginia
Monday's Course in Miracles
My daily spiritual practice includes studying the Course in Miracles. Each Monday I share a quote from the text.
Let me recognize my problems have been solved. ACIM
Monday's Course in Miracles
My daily spiritual practice includes studying the Course in Miracles. Each Monday I share a quote from the text.
I am entitled to miracles . ACIM
Feng Shui Friday
I teach courses in Feng Shui and I also incorporate it in my coaching practice and in my own home. It is a wonderful tool in creating a more tranquil and enjoyable life. I am dedicating Friday's blog to all things Feng Shui.
This is the fifth of the nine lesson Baqua Map Course. The baqua map shows where the nine areas of your life (guas)are located in your home. Each lesson I give you tips on how to enhance one of the guas. This week I will cover the Health Center. (not to be confused with a gym).
The Health Center is the center of your home. Your entire well being centers around your health. In ancient homes that practiced Feng Shui, the center of the home was entirely empty and served as a courtyard or had a labyrinth there. It is an important place in your home.
Ways to enhance this area:
*Start with an intention. I use, "My health is constantly improving in all ways."
*Clear and declutter and bring energy to the space. Bring extra attention in keeping this area clutter free.
*The color yellow.
*Symbols and pictures that symbolize total health to you.
*Keep the center of every room clutter free.
Pretty soon we will have these blooming. Bring them in and display them in this area.
In the very center of my home I have this displayed. It symbolizes my center, Christ and Love.
This is the fifth of the nine lesson Baqua Map Course. The baqua map shows where the nine areas of your life (guas)are located in your home. Each lesson I give you tips on how to enhance one of the guas. This week I will cover the Health Center. (not to be confused with a gym).
The Health Center is the center of your home. Your entire well being centers around your health. In ancient homes that practiced Feng Shui, the center of the home was entirely empty and served as a courtyard or had a labyrinth there. It is an important place in your home.
Ways to enhance this area:
*Start with an intention. I use, "My health is constantly improving in all ways."
*Clear and declutter and bring energy to the space. Bring extra attention in keeping this area clutter free.
*The color yellow.
*Symbols and pictures that symbolize total health to you.
*Keep the center of every room clutter free.
Pretty soon we will have these blooming. Bring them in and display them in this area.
In the very center of my home I have this displayed. It symbolizes my center, Christ and Love.
Have fun! Remember Feng Shui is pronounced FUN Shway. Enjoy making your home a mirror of your wonderful life.
Blessings,
Virginia
Blessings,
Virginia
Monday's Course In Miracles
My daily spiritual practice includes meditating and praying with the Course of Miracles as my guide. Each (most) Mondays I share a quote from The Course In Miracles.
Love holds no grievances. When I let all of my grievances go I will know I am perfectly safe.
Love holds no grievances. When I let all of my grievances go I will know I am perfectly safe.
Mondays Course in Miracles
My daily spiritual practice includes studying The Course in Miracles. Each Monday I share a quote from the text.
Forgiveness is my function as the light of the world. ACIM
Forgiveness is my function as the light of the world. ACIM
Feng Shui Friday
I teach courses on Feng Shui and I also incorporate it in my coaching practice and in my own home. It is a wonderful tool in creating a more tranquil and enjoyable life. I am dedicating Friday's blog to all things Feng Shui.
This is the fourth week of the nine week Bagua Map Course. The Bagua map shows where the nine areas of your life(guas) are located in your home. Each week I will give you tips on how to enhance one of the guas in your home. This week I will cover Journey Career.
The Journey Career gua is located in the front center of your home. Do you feel like you are living a purposeful life? Are you longing to fill your soul with passionate work? This is the place to go.
Ways to enhance this area.
*Start with an intention. I say, "God is always leading me in the right direction."
* Clean and declutter to bring energy into the room.
*The color black. It doesn't have to be the entire room. Even a black frame would do.
*Pictures of water.
*A mirror.
My journey career area is my living room. When you walk in you see this, one of my favorite spots in Maine. I took this photo. Art that you create has more Feng Shui energy than any art you could buy.
This saying also hangs in my living room. Not only does it have black in it, but it also is the perfect mantra for my chosen journey.
Have fun. Remember Feng Shui is pronounced FUN shway.. Enjoy making your home a mirror of your wonderful life.
Blessings,
Virginia
This is the fourth week of the nine week Bagua Map Course. The Bagua map shows where the nine areas of your life(guas) are located in your home. Each week I will give you tips on how to enhance one of the guas in your home. This week I will cover Journey Career.
The Journey Career gua is located in the front center of your home. Do you feel like you are living a purposeful life? Are you longing to fill your soul with passionate work? This is the place to go.
Ways to enhance this area.
*Start with an intention. I say, "God is always leading me in the right direction."
* Clean and declutter to bring energy into the room.
*The color black. It doesn't have to be the entire room. Even a black frame would do.
*Pictures of water.
*A mirror.
My journey career area is my living room. When you walk in you see this, one of my favorite spots in Maine. I took this photo. Art that you create has more Feng Shui energy than any art you could buy.
This saying also hangs in my living room. Not only does it have black in it, but it also is the perfect mantra for my chosen journey.
Blessings,
Virginia
Tuesdays Tips: NOW means JOY
"I decided to enjoy my sandwich and my life changed."
A man I loved told me that with tears brimming.
His newborn was in NICU and it didn't look good. He and his wife at the time were doing NICU shifts. He was exhausted, scared, vulnerable, raw and found NOW in the decision to enjoy a sandwich. The best sandwich he ever ate.( His son is fine BTW)
NOW means JOY.
Joy sometimes happens in crisis.
The most beautiful snow fell on the day my divorce was finalized.
The best wave I ever rode was the day my dad died.
The best laugh I ever had was at my mom's wake.
The most beautiful summer day was when I had zero money.
If JOY can happen when NOW is at it's bleakest, how can joy and now be here in the mundane?
I am working on it and here is what I have found to work,
1. Set an alarm on your phone. ( whatever works for your schedule) When the alarm goes off look around you. Appreciate, Find things you love right there and then. Say Thank you.
2. Breathe right into your belly. Hold it. Breathe out while saying thank you.
3. Move your body as much as you can. Please dance!
4. Get outside in any weather.
5. Get new sheets at the highest count you can afford. I splurged and got 500 count. The softness is glorious. Angels come while you sleep.
For me, at this moment NOW is a child with the flu, another with school issue and me with work issues. Yet NOW is a heart shaped snowmelt.
Blessings,
A man I loved told me that with tears brimming.
His newborn was in NICU and it didn't look good. He and his wife at the time were doing NICU shifts. He was exhausted, scared, vulnerable, raw and found NOW in the decision to enjoy a sandwich. The best sandwich he ever ate.( His son is fine BTW)
NOW means JOY.
Joy sometimes happens in crisis.
The most beautiful snow fell on the day my divorce was finalized.
The best wave I ever rode was the day my dad died.
The best laugh I ever had was at my mom's wake.
The most beautiful summer day was when I had zero money.
If JOY can happen when NOW is at it's bleakest, how can joy and now be here in the mundane?
I am working on it and here is what I have found to work,
1. Set an alarm on your phone. ( whatever works for your schedule) When the alarm goes off look around you. Appreciate, Find things you love right there and then. Say Thank you.
2. Breathe right into your belly. Hold it. Breathe out while saying thank you.
3. Move your body as much as you can. Please dance!
4. Get outside in any weather.
5. Get new sheets at the highest count you can afford. I splurged and got 500 count. The softness is glorious. Angels come while you sleep.
For me, at this moment NOW is a child with the flu, another with school issue and me with work issues. Yet NOW is a heart shaped snowmelt.
Blessings,
Virginia
Monday' Course in Miracles
My daily spiritual practice includes studying the Course in Miracles. Each Monday I share a quote from the text.
Now it is given me to understand that God is the light in which I see. Let me welcome vision and the happy world it will show me. ACIM
Now it is given me to understand that God is the light in which I see. Let me welcome vision and the happy world it will show me. ACIM
Tuesday's Tips
Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week
Spanish Proverb
One hour ago I sat down to write this blog on procrastination.
I decided to have a snack first.
Then the dog needed to go out.
Then the dog needed me to play a few rounds of catch.
Then the laundry needed to be folded.
Then the dishes needed to be put away.
Then I noticed the pile of mail to go out.
Then I thought of chopping some ice.
Then I laughed and came back to my office and just began.
We all procrastinate, oftentimes unconsciously. Here are a few of my own strategies to keep that pesky procrastination at bay.
1.Recognize it. Be nice to yourself. Start again.
I am aware that I tend to procrastinate, so I try to recognize it. It takes some detective work. All of those things I did instead of starting this blog were things that had to be done.Procrastination can look like work. It just isn't the work you intended to do.
When I see myself procrastinating, I laugh it off and start again. I don't beat myself up over it.
2. Start small.
When I went back to my office, I told myself I was going to organize my notes I wrote yesterday in preparation for the blog. I am pretty sure that had I started with the intention of reviewing my notes, the desire to have a snack would never have occurred to me.
3. Set a timer. Reward yourself.
A few years back, I took a few online graduate courses. I hadn't taken a graduate course in 15 years and I struggled with the APA formatting. That struggle lead to some serious procrastination. To conquer the procrastination, I set a timer for 30 minutes and gave all of my attention to my coursework. When the timer went off I would reward myself. Then I would go back and do it all over again.
4. Let go of the outcome.
Most procrastination is about perfectionism. No matter how many articles, blog posts, or courses I have written, the gremlin still invades. The gremlin is that voice in my head proclaiming, "That is horrible writing."
" Everybody will hate it."
"This really sucks."
In response to the gremlin, I remind myself that perfection is unattainable and what others think is none of my business.
5. Set a specific schedule.
I love to exercise. I just don't like to start. Thus, I made the habit to exercise every morning after my children get on the bus. It is nonegotiable and has made the starting so much easier.
6. Change your scenery.
I like to go to the public library to get serious writing done. At the library there are no dishes, no laundry and no dog to distract me. Also sometimes a change of scenery means to get outside for fresh air. Of course, you have to come back. Use a timer.
Good luck and here's to making tomorrow the least busiest day of the week.
Blessings,
Virginia
Spanish Proverb
One hour ago I sat down to write this blog on procrastination.
I decided to have a snack first.
Then the dog needed to go out.
Then the dog needed me to play a few rounds of catch.
Then the laundry needed to be folded.
Then the dishes needed to be put away.
Then I noticed the pile of mail to go out.
Then I thought of chopping some ice.
Then I laughed and came back to my office and just began.
We all procrastinate, oftentimes unconsciously. Here are a few of my own strategies to keep that pesky procrastination at bay.
1.Recognize it. Be nice to yourself. Start again.
I am aware that I tend to procrastinate, so I try to recognize it. It takes some detective work. All of those things I did instead of starting this blog were things that had to be done.Procrastination can look like work. It just isn't the work you intended to do.
When I see myself procrastinating, I laugh it off and start again. I don't beat myself up over it.
2. Start small.
When I went back to my office, I told myself I was going to organize my notes I wrote yesterday in preparation for the blog. I am pretty sure that had I started with the intention of reviewing my notes, the desire to have a snack would never have occurred to me.
3. Set a timer. Reward yourself.
A few years back, I took a few online graduate courses. I hadn't taken a graduate course in 15 years and I struggled with the APA formatting. That struggle lead to some serious procrastination. To conquer the procrastination, I set a timer for 30 minutes and gave all of my attention to my coursework. When the timer went off I would reward myself. Then I would go back and do it all over again.
4. Let go of the outcome.
Most procrastination is about perfectionism. No matter how many articles, blog posts, or courses I have written, the gremlin still invades. The gremlin is that voice in my head proclaiming, "That is horrible writing."
" Everybody will hate it."
"This really sucks."
In response to the gremlin, I remind myself that perfection is unattainable and what others think is none of my business.
5. Set a specific schedule.
I love to exercise. I just don't like to start. Thus, I made the habit to exercise every morning after my children get on the bus. It is nonegotiable and has made the starting so much easier.
6. Change your scenery.
I like to go to the public library to get serious writing done. At the library there are no dishes, no laundry and no dog to distract me. Also sometimes a change of scenery means to get outside for fresh air. Of course, you have to come back. Use a timer.
Good luck and here's to making tomorrow the least busiest day of the week.
Blessings,
Virginia
Mondays Course in Miracles
My daily spiritual practice includes studying The Course in Miracles. Each Monday I share a quote from the text.
For you will be content only in magnitude, which is your home. ACIM
For you will be content only in magnitude, which is your home. ACIM
Monday's Course in Miracles
My daily spiritual practice includes studying The Course in Miracles. Each Monday I share a quote from the text.
God 's voice speaks to me all through the day. ACIM
Blessings,
Virginia
Virginia
Feng Shui Friday
I teach courses on Feng Shui and I also incorporate it in my coaching practice and in my own home. It is a wonderful tool in creating a more tranquil and enjoyable life. I am dedicating Friday's blog on all things Feng Shui.
This is the second week of the nine week Bagua Map course. The Bagua map shows where the nine areas(guas) of life are positioned in your home. Each week I will give you tips on how to enhance one of the guas in your life in each area of your home. Last week I covered Knowledge and Self Cultivation. This week I will cover Elders.
Elders, which refers to all family, here and beyond, is located in the middle left side of your home. If you are struggling with family members, have some unresolved issues with those who have passed or even if you aren't feeling like you are on a solid foundation this is the place to clean up and touch up. Family is the foundation of life regardless of age. I believe our ancestors want to offer us support in life.
Some ideas for enhancing the Elders gua:
*Start with an intention. Both of my parents have passed. When I miss them. This is the place I go and my intention is "Mom and Dad are always with me."
* Clean and declutter
* Use green as a color enhancer.
* Decorate with things made of wood.
*Put up favorite pictures of family members.
This is the second week of the nine week Bagua Map course. The Bagua map shows where the nine areas(guas) of life are positioned in your home. Each week I will give you tips on how to enhance one of the guas in your life in each area of your home. Last week I covered Knowledge and Self Cultivation. This week I will cover Elders.
Elders, which refers to all family, here and beyond, is located in the middle left side of your home. If you are struggling with family members, have some unresolved issues with those who have passed or even if you aren't feeling like you are on a solid foundation this is the place to clean up and touch up. Family is the foundation of life regardless of age. I believe our ancestors want to offer us support in life.
Some ideas for enhancing the Elders gua:
*Start with an intention. Both of my parents have passed. When I miss them. This is the place I go and my intention is "Mom and Dad are always with me."
* Clean and declutter
* Use green as a color enhancer.
* Decorate with things made of wood.
*Put up favorite pictures of family members.
My Elders Gua is in my kitchen. I painted it my favorite shade of green . One of my wooden decorations that I love.
I also change the fridge pictures every week.
Enjoy and remember Feng Shui is pronounced FUN Shway. Have fun making your home a mirror of your wonderful life.
Blessings,
Virginia
Love
As I have noted previously, each new year I pick a word instead of making any resolutions. I try to use the word as a backdrop to everything I do, say or think. Note I said TRY. I fall short quite often. Yet, as each year ends I am amazed at how much the word I chose enhanced my life.
This year I chose LOVE. I try to ask, as Robert Holden, suggests, "What would Love do in this situation?" It has been an amazing process, as Love always answers when I stop to ask and listen for the answer from within.
I have also been practicing more self love. As an extremely busy single mother of teenagers, I sometimes leave my needs out of the equation of daily life. It is a funny thing, self love. Our culture limits it to bubble baths and dark chocolate when it is so much more.
So what does self love look like?
Here is something I have learned so far, just three months in.
* Sometimes self love is having tea with a difficult emotion. You know, the one that keeps returning and you don't want to feel. It doesn't feel so loving . Yet when I let it be and actually feel the crappiness of it all, it starts to dissipate.
*Self Love means hanging out with that feeling a bit longer to ask "What do you want to teach me?"
*Self love means waiting patiently for the answer.
The answer comes and it is always centered around more love.
This year I chose LOVE. I try to ask, as Robert Holden, suggests, "What would Love do in this situation?" It has been an amazing process, as Love always answers when I stop to ask and listen for the answer from within.
I have also been practicing more self love. As an extremely busy single mother of teenagers, I sometimes leave my needs out of the equation of daily life. It is a funny thing, self love. Our culture limits it to bubble baths and dark chocolate when it is so much more.
So what does self love look like?
Here is something I have learned so far, just three months in.
* Sometimes self love is having tea with a difficult emotion. You know, the one that keeps returning and you don't want to feel. It doesn't feel so loving . Yet when I let it be and actually feel the crappiness of it all, it starts to dissipate.
*Self Love means hanging out with that feeling a bit longer to ask "What do you want to teach me?"
*Self love means waiting patiently for the answer.
The answer comes and it is always centered around more love.
Mondays Course In Miracles
My daily spiritual practice includes studying the Course in Miracles. Each Monday I share a quote.
Ask and it shall be given to you because it already has been given. Ask for light and learn you ARE light. ACIM
Ask and it shall be given to you because it already has been given. Ask for light and learn you ARE light. ACIM
Feng Shui Friday
I teach courses on Feng Shui. I also incorporate it in my coaching practice and my own home. It is a wonderful tool in creating a more tranquil and enjoyable life. I am dedicating Friday's blog to all things Feng Shui.
For the next nine weeks I will teach you about the The Bagua Map. The Bagua Map shows where the nine areas (guas) of life are positioned in your home. Each week I will give you tips on how to enhance one of the nine areas of your home.
Place the map down on your home's layout with your front entrance being on the bottom. Don't worry about walls or the fact that your home may not be a perfect rectangle. Do remember , however, that guas outside of your home matter. For instance, my home has a screened in porch and deck jutting out of the middle back of the house. That means my Abundant Blessings and Love Marriage guas are outside. I will give suggestions on each gua if it happens to be outside.
Knowledge and Self Cultivation gua is in the front left of your home. This gua is about wisdom that comes from stillness and the peace and strong sense of self that inner wisdom brings.
If you are feeling scattered, unsure of yourself and you have lost your peaceful mojo this would be a great area to work on.
Some ideas for enhancing the Knowledge and Self Cultivation gua:
* Always start with an intention. When I clean and decorate my porch I say out loud," I trust my intuition and I always have time to be still."
* Clean and declutter
*A spot to be quiet and still.
* Pictures of places in nature you find meditative and peaceful
* Inspirational Sayings
My knowledge area is my front porch. As I said, outside matters too,
I drink my coffee out here most days, even in winter. Sitting on the bench I can see my garden which is somewhere under there.
I decorate the porch each season. We are still on the Valentine theme. My snowshoes remind me to take some me time in the woods.
Everyone who enters reads this .
Enjoy and remember Feng Shui is pronounced FUN Shway. Have fun making your home the mirror of your wonderful life.
Blessings,
Virginia
For the next nine weeks I will teach you about the The Bagua Map. The Bagua Map shows where the nine areas (guas) of life are positioned in your home. Each week I will give you tips on how to enhance one of the nine areas of your home.
Place the map down on your home's layout with your front entrance being on the bottom. Don't worry about walls or the fact that your home may not be a perfect rectangle. Do remember , however, that guas outside of your home matter. For instance, my home has a screened in porch and deck jutting out of the middle back of the house. That means my Abundant Blessings and Love Marriage guas are outside. I will give suggestions on each gua if it happens to be outside.
Knowledge and Self Cultivation gua is in the front left of your home. This gua is about wisdom that comes from stillness and the peace and strong sense of self that inner wisdom brings.
If you are feeling scattered, unsure of yourself and you have lost your peaceful mojo this would be a great area to work on.
Some ideas for enhancing the Knowledge and Self Cultivation gua:
* Always start with an intention. When I clean and decorate my porch I say out loud," I trust my intuition and I always have time to be still."
* Clean and declutter
*A spot to be quiet and still.
* Pictures of places in nature you find meditative and peaceful
* Inspirational Sayings
My knowledge area is my front porch. As I said, outside matters too,
I drink my coffee out here most days, even in winter. Sitting on the bench I can see my garden which is somewhere under there.
I decorate the porch each season. We are still on the Valentine theme. My snowshoes remind me to take some me time in the woods.
Everyone who enters reads this .
Enjoy and remember Feng Shui is pronounced FUN Shway. Have fun making your home the mirror of your wonderful life.
Blessings,
Virginia
Three Steps to Achieve Any Goal
Close to two months have past since making those New Year resolutions. For most of us, the promises made haven't been kept. In my own life and in many of my clients' experiences setting goals require more than making a promise. Goal setting involves asking a few questions.
1, First ask yourself why you want to achieve this goal. Spend some time with the answers that come up, paying special attention to your ego. For instance if you want to write a book to be heard or to become important. that is your ego talking. If you want to write because you want to share your voice or entertain then you are doing for the greater good. Also remember goals set for someone else don't work either. Make the goal for you.
2. Secondly. What have you succeeded at in your life? Write the list. Having a tangible list of the amazing things you have done will boost your confidence.
3. Finally ask yourself what is working in your life now? By appreciating now you stay in the present instead of living in the future. So often when we set goals we get stuck in the future and we make our happiness about then instead of now. Choosing to be happy right where you are will make the process of achieving your goal more enjoyable.
Remember life is supposed to be fun. The joy is in the journey not the destination.
1, First ask yourself why you want to achieve this goal. Spend some time with the answers that come up, paying special attention to your ego. For instance if you want to write a book to be heard or to become important. that is your ego talking. If you want to write because you want to share your voice or entertain then you are doing for the greater good. Also remember goals set for someone else don't work either. Make the goal for you.
2. Secondly. What have you succeeded at in your life? Write the list. Having a tangible list of the amazing things you have done will boost your confidence.
3. Finally ask yourself what is working in your life now? By appreciating now you stay in the present instead of living in the future. So often when we set goals we get stuck in the future and we make our happiness about then instead of now. Choosing to be happy right where you are will make the process of achieving your goal more enjoyable.
Remember life is supposed to be fun. The joy is in the journey not the destination.
Complaining to Gratitude
If you don't like something change it. If you can't change it, change the way you think about it. Don't complain. Maya Angelou
I haven't made a Lenten promise in years but this year I decided to go back to my Catholic roots.
I liked the idea of doing something for 40 days that would help me grow into a more loving person. I decided to stop complaining. Sounded easy enough as I am generally an optimistic person.
They say what you put your attention to grows. So as I was paying attention to my thoughts and my words for complaints, it should come as no surprise that there was A LOT of complaining going on.
Another snow storm?
Water is leaking where?
You need a ride when?
Another medical bill?
As I caught myself complaining, I forgot another even more important intention. My word for 2015 is LOVE. I wasn't being very loving to myself for complaining. In fact, I was being downright mean.
I could give up on my Lenten promise yet I really feel that complaining is a waste of time. I needed to tweak it just a bit. So now each time I catch myself complaining, I stop mid thought or mid sentence and without judgement simply recognize that I am complaining. Then I find three things to appreciate.
No doubt about it, ice dams, six feet of snow, bills and teenagers have the ability to aggravate even Buddha himself. Yet they pale in comparison to all that is perfect.
Now that is one giant ice dam.
If I just turn my head, I get this glorious view.
Blessings,
Virginia
I haven't made a Lenten promise in years but this year I decided to go back to my Catholic roots.
I liked the idea of doing something for 40 days that would help me grow into a more loving person. I decided to stop complaining. Sounded easy enough as I am generally an optimistic person.
They say what you put your attention to grows. So as I was paying attention to my thoughts and my words for complaints, it should come as no surprise that there was A LOT of complaining going on.
Another snow storm?
Water is leaking where?
You need a ride when?
Another medical bill?
As I caught myself complaining, I forgot another even more important intention. My word for 2015 is LOVE. I wasn't being very loving to myself for complaining. In fact, I was being downright mean.
I could give up on my Lenten promise yet I really feel that complaining is a waste of time. I needed to tweak it just a bit. So now each time I catch myself complaining, I stop mid thought or mid sentence and without judgement simply recognize that I am complaining. Then I find three things to appreciate.
No doubt about it, ice dams, six feet of snow, bills and teenagers have the ability to aggravate even Buddha himself. Yet they pale in comparison to all that is perfect.
Now that is one giant ice dam.
YET
If I just turn my head, I get this glorious view.
Blessings,
Virginia
Monday's Course in Miracles
My daily spiritual practice includes studying The Course in Miracles. Each Monday I share a quote or a lesson from the text.
Light cannot penetrate through the walls you make to block it.
ACIM
ACIM
If You are Bored, You are Boring
Years back my children had the best pediatrician ever!
This doctor actually came to my house to check in when Alex had strep throat, Elise had scarlet fever and pneumonia, Sean had RSV and I had a UTI. He was a caring, wise, and generous doctor.
He always marveled at how my little ones entertained themselves during long doctor's visits.
I remember his words, "If you are bored, you are boring. Virginia, your kids will never be boring."
Thus whenever a child of mine says they are bored I celebrate. I do not intervene. (I do want to fix it ,of course, but I try my best to hold back).
Being bored has created squabbles, headaches and guilt.
Yet, being bored has created massive forts all around the house.
Being bored has created out of this world Lego creations.
Being bored has created amazing art work and mastering the art of stringing lacrosse sticks.
Being bored today got me a gorgeous wooden box with an ' I love you" on the side.
Our kids deserve to be bored.
Bored is the gateway to being alone with oneself in a creative way.
Alone with oneself is never boring. It is a life skill.
This doctor actually came to my house to check in when Alex had strep throat, Elise had scarlet fever and pneumonia, Sean had RSV and I had a UTI. He was a caring, wise, and generous doctor.
He always marveled at how my little ones entertained themselves during long doctor's visits.
I remember his words, "If you are bored, you are boring. Virginia, your kids will never be boring."
Thus whenever a child of mine says they are bored I celebrate. I do not intervene. (I do want to fix it ,of course, but I try my best to hold back).
Being bored has created squabbles, headaches and guilt.
Yet, being bored has created massive forts all around the house.
Being bored has created out of this world Lego creations.
Being bored has created amazing art work and mastering the art of stringing lacrosse sticks.
Being bored today got me a gorgeous wooden box with an ' I love you" on the side.
Our kids deserve to be bored.
Bored is the gateway to being alone with oneself in a creative way.
Alone with oneself is never boring. It is a life skill.
Ways to Get Unstuck
We have gotten close to five feet of snow this past month. Snow removal is done the old fashioned way, with a shovel. Needless to say the end of my driveway has gotten quite thin. The turnaround requires an eight point turn and I long gave up on shoveling the path to the front door. The roof ,however, needed to be tended to.
I decided to tackle it alone one day in lieu of my exercise routine. I put on my snow shoes and all of my gear and headed outside. After two hours, my arms felt like dead weight and my neck and back were starting to ache but my determination (stubborn streak) won. So I continued.
Then I fell over into the five foot snow.
I tried to get up using my hands as leverage but they just sank into the snow. I tried maneuvering my snow shoed feet but I couldn't. This went on for a good ten minutes or so and fear crept in.
"I am stuck in my yard in the snow. My phone is on the kitchen counter. Nobody will be home until....until i pick them up at 4 pm. That is 6 hours from now. I am screwed!"
Then some self berating, "How could you be so stupid? You could have had them help later on. You should have your phone on you."
I laid back onto the snow and looked at the perfect blue sky. I breathed in the fresh air and relaxed. I felt thankful for the beauty and my strong arms
and that I wasn't hurt.
From there I proceeded to laugh until my stomach hurt.
After a bit, I came up with a brilliant, wacky idea. I log rolled across my front yard until I got to the shoveled driveway and rolled right off the bank. I stood up still laughing and went inside for some tea.
Ways to get unstuck:
1. Give yourself breaks. Your body knows more than your stubborn nature.
2. Have help available.
3. Trying to get different results doing the same thing over and over again never works.
4. Find something to appreciate
5.Relax
6. Be kind to your self
7. Laugh
8. Let the answer come and if it sounds crazy try it anyways.
I decided to tackle it alone one day in lieu of my exercise routine. I put on my snow shoes and all of my gear and headed outside. After two hours, my arms felt like dead weight and my neck and back were starting to ache but my determination (stubborn streak) won. So I continued.
Then I fell over into the five foot snow.
I tried to get up using my hands as leverage but they just sank into the snow. I tried maneuvering my snow shoed feet but I couldn't. This went on for a good ten minutes or so and fear crept in.
"I am stuck in my yard in the snow. My phone is on the kitchen counter. Nobody will be home until....until i pick them up at 4 pm. That is 6 hours from now. I am screwed!"
Then some self berating, "How could you be so stupid? You could have had them help later on. You should have your phone on you."
I laid back onto the snow and looked at the perfect blue sky. I breathed in the fresh air and relaxed. I felt thankful for the beauty and my strong arms
and that I wasn't hurt.
From there I proceeded to laugh until my stomach hurt.
After a bit, I came up with a brilliant, wacky idea. I log rolled across my front yard until I got to the shoveled driveway and rolled right off the bank. I stood up still laughing and went inside for some tea.
Ways to get unstuck:
1. Give yourself breaks. Your body knows more than your stubborn nature.
2. Have help available.
3. Trying to get different results doing the same thing over and over again never works.
4. Find something to appreciate
5.Relax
6. Be kind to your self
7. Laugh
8. Let the answer come and if it sounds crazy try it anyways.
Mondays Course In Miracles
My daily spiritual practice includes studying A Course In Miracles. Each Monday I post a quote or the lesson of the day.
I Could see peace instead of this. ACIM
A Thursday Thought
The measure of mental health is the disposition to find good everywhere. Ralph Waldo Emerson
On Monday, I was totally panicked over the pending snow storm. Actually I think the panic began on Sunday night. All I could think was "SH*# we might lose power."
From that thought came ,"I can't do this anymore."
(In my years of being a single mother, we have lost power for days on end five different times)
In this lousy state of mind, I frantically got all of the laundry done, the house cleaned, dishes washed and extra food and water bought. Then like a mad woman, I started untangling extension cords to run from the basement to the generator outdoors. Mad and crazy don't mix well with tangled cords, just saying. There was also gas to buy and an extra gas can just in case five gallons wouldn't be enough and I needed more space heaters. My stress level was over the top.
I chose to see the bad yet there was good everywhere.
I could have been grateful that we have both a washer and a dryer. (We went six years without a dryer)
I could have been grateful for my home.
I could have been grateful that I had the means to buy extra food, water, gas, gas cans and space heaters.
Worst of all, I could have been more grateful that my two teenagers were pitching in.
The irony of all of that angst. We never lost power.
On Monday, I was totally panicked over the pending snow storm. Actually I think the panic began on Sunday night. All I could think was "SH*# we might lose power."
From that thought came ,"I can't do this anymore."
(In my years of being a single mother, we have lost power for days on end five different times)
In this lousy state of mind, I frantically got all of the laundry done, the house cleaned, dishes washed and extra food and water bought. Then like a mad woman, I started untangling extension cords to run from the basement to the generator outdoors. Mad and crazy don't mix well with tangled cords, just saying. There was also gas to buy and an extra gas can just in case five gallons wouldn't be enough and I needed more space heaters. My stress level was over the top.
I chose to see the bad yet there was good everywhere.
I could have been grateful that we have both a washer and a dryer. (We went six years without a dryer)
I could have been grateful for my home.
I could have been grateful that I had the means to buy extra food, water, gas, gas cans and space heaters.
Worst of all, I could have been more grateful that my two teenagers were pitching in.
The irony of all of that angst. We never lost power.
Monday's Course in Miracles
You have not only been fully created, but you have been created perfect. There is no emptiness in you. ACIM
Monday's Course in Miracles
On the last day of 2014, I read this in The Course in Miracles:
You do not walk alone. God's angels hover near and all about. His love surrounds you and of this be sure: that i will never leave you comfortless. ACIM
Such a beautiful thought to bring in 2015. As we all head back in to our lives and our kids head back to school, these words can carry us and keep our hearts warm.
You do not walk alone. God's angels hover near and all about. His love surrounds you and of this be sure: that i will never leave you comfortless. ACIM
Such a beautiful thought to bring in 2015. As we all head back in to our lives and our kids head back to school, these words can carry us and keep our hearts warm.
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