When I first became a single mom, I spent many sleepless nights worrying about my children's future.
I was paralyzed in fear with the same question swirling in my head,"How can I be both Mom and Dad?"
Then one day in the wee hours of the morning it hit me, "I don't have to be mom and dad."
Every cell in my body felt immediate relief.
In Brene Brown's words I finally embraced, "I am imperfect AND I am enough."
I let go of the notion that I had to be anything more than myself in order for my children to thrive.
Being myself meant that sometimes I had to miss events. I have missed many of my son's college lacrosse games.
Sometimes I had to choose one child's event over the other. Just recently I chose to take prom pictures with my senior daughter's group of friends instead of my sophomore son's group of friends.
Being myself meant sometimes they had to find their own rides.
Trusting that I was enough in these moments meant guilt was not an option.
I let go of the fear that my single mom status was going to damage my children.
I ignored every ridiculous statistic about children growing up with a single mother.
I fully committed to raising happy, healthy children.
My marital status was in no way going to deter that goal.
I let go of the idea that parenting teens was going to be hard as a single mom.
Teenagers are amazing human beings.
It is a roller coaster ride for all parents.
In many ways this time is easier as a single parent. I make the rules!
I no longer stay awake at night worrying about how my single mom status will effect my children.
Mostly I go to bed wondering how it all went so fast.
Showing posts with label teenagers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label teenagers. Show all posts
Complaining to Gratitude
If you don't like something change it. If you can't change it, change the way you think about it. Don't complain. Maya Angelou
I haven't made a Lenten promise in years but this year I decided to go back to my Catholic roots.
I liked the idea of doing something for 40 days that would help me grow into a more loving person. I decided to stop complaining. Sounded easy enough as I am generally an optimistic person.
They say what you put your attention to grows. So as I was paying attention to my thoughts and my words for complaints, it should come as no surprise that there was A LOT of complaining going on.
Another snow storm?
Water is leaking where?
You need a ride when?
Another medical bill?
As I caught myself complaining, I forgot another even more important intention. My word for 2015 is LOVE. I wasn't being very loving to myself for complaining. In fact, I was being downright mean.
I could give up on my Lenten promise yet I really feel that complaining is a waste of time. I needed to tweak it just a bit. So now each time I catch myself complaining, I stop mid thought or mid sentence and without judgement simply recognize that I am complaining. Then I find three things to appreciate.
No doubt about it, ice dams, six feet of snow, bills and teenagers have the ability to aggravate even Buddha himself. Yet they pale in comparison to all that is perfect.
I haven't made a Lenten promise in years but this year I decided to go back to my Catholic roots.
I liked the idea of doing something for 40 days that would help me grow into a more loving person. I decided to stop complaining. Sounded easy enough as I am generally an optimistic person.
They say what you put your attention to grows. So as I was paying attention to my thoughts and my words for complaints, it should come as no surprise that there was A LOT of complaining going on.
Another snow storm?
Water is leaking where?
You need a ride when?
Another medical bill?
As I caught myself complaining, I forgot another even more important intention. My word for 2015 is LOVE. I wasn't being very loving to myself for complaining. In fact, I was being downright mean.
I could give up on my Lenten promise yet I really feel that complaining is a waste of time. I needed to tweak it just a bit. So now each time I catch myself complaining, I stop mid thought or mid sentence and without judgement simply recognize that I am complaining. Then I find three things to appreciate.
No doubt about it, ice dams, six feet of snow, bills and teenagers have the ability to aggravate even Buddha himself. Yet they pale in comparison to all that is perfect.
Time
When I was a mom with little ones I was always taken aback with comments like,"These are the best years of your life," "Enjoy them while they are little," or the all too famous, "Ha! Just wait until they become teenagers."
I vowed to never be like that when my children grew up, which at the time, seemed like an eternity away. I vowed to enjoy my children forever, even as teenagers and to never wish for days gone by. For the most part I have.
But lately as I round the corner into the kitchen, I sometimes stop in my tracks and stare in awe.
I simply cannot wrap my head around the passing of time. I sometimes close my eyes and recall memories of the 18 years between those two pictures. I have even shed a tear or two.
Time
I vowed to never be like that when my children grew up, which at the time, seemed like an eternity away. I vowed to enjoy my children forever, even as teenagers and to never wish for days gone by. For the most part I have.
But lately as I round the corner into the kitchen, I sometimes stop in my tracks and stare in awe.
I simply cannot wrap my head around the passing of time. I sometimes close my eyes and recall memories of the 18 years between those two pictures. I have even shed a tear or two.
Time
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)


