Ten years back, just a few years in to single parenting, I decided to make a fresh start. On a wing and a prayer, I moved from New Hampshire to Maine. One of the reasons I bought this home was the amazingly kid friendly back yard. I knew the gigantic swing set, the play hut and the acre of woods would be the perfect place for my children to play, explore, create and grow.
Time passes. Those cuties are now bigger than me. The hours of back yard games and watching kids play in the woods and swings and in the back yard hut have somehow passed. The many dinners in the car between games and practices and the ping ponging from field to field have passed as well. Those were crazy and exhausting days. I made many sacrifices to be present for my children and I wouldn't change any of it.
As those years passed ,the swing set deteriorated and the back yard hut became a sagging collector of crap. So those 'bigger than me' cuties and I embarked on a demolition project. The swing set, the hut and years of collected stuff now lie in here.
The emptying has created a vacant spot. A vacancy similar to the one I feel in myself , as single mothering has become more vague. My day to day life is no longer overflowing with single mom responsibilities. I feel both a sadness and an excitement. That dumpster symbolizes the new space I am creating for myself. As each of my children take steps into their futures, away from me, I get to take a journey filling the new spaces in my life.
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