Five Ways to Embrace Our Sadness and Lean into Healing.

 


My heart is so heavy and my sadness runs deep. As I try to wrap my head around the news, my heart cracks wide open.

Forty nine beautiful lives brutally taken.  So many tragically lost a daughter, a brother, a sister, a friend, a life partner, a husband, a wife, a lover, a niece, a cousin,  a nephew.  The suffering is unimaginable. I hurt all over.

I was already hurting.  A convicted rapist will only serve three months in jail.

And perhaps my heart is still hurting from all of the previous mass shootings and injustices of our world.

It hurts.

But I don't want it to go away. I want to feel it ,because that is what it means to be human. As humans we feel the pain in the world. As humans we also know healing is possible.

I feel for the brave woman who wrote that eloquent speech to the judge. I want her to heal.

I feel for all women who are victims of rape. I want them to heal.

I feel for the families and loved ones of every single person killed in an act of terror. I want them to heal.

In feeling my sadness and wanting to heal:

1. I try to make my world more beautiful.

I plant flowers. The blooms get watered with my tears.
Ann Lamott recommends picking up litter.
I like to clean a room, a drawer, a closet. Order makes me feel like I have control.

2. I offer help.

I believe acts of love are universal. Helping the person in front of you helps heal the world.  Even a heartfelt smile can create a miracle.  I also heed the advice from my childhood love, Mr. Rogers. I look for the helpers.

3. I share love.

I reach out to family and friends. I pray. The other day I set an hourly alarm on my phone. Each hour I held that beautiful ,brave, warrior of a woman in my heart. In those few minutes on the hour ,I showered her with love. I am doing something similar for the victims in Orlando. Love always trumps hate.

4. I make an effort not to get sucked into the media.

I find it traumatizing to watch and rewatch the news reel. I also hate having to repeatedly see the face of the perpetrators. Instead, I look for something inspirational or funny to read or watch.  I limit social media.

5. I create.

It has been scientifically proven that creativity increases happiness. Creating a meal, a picture, a dance, a song,a photograph all lift my spirit. Lifting our own spirits lifts the spirits of those around us and has a rippling effect.

Even in  the darkness I choose love. Please join me.

Blessings,
Virginia