Longing To Go Home

When my mom was in the late stage of Altzheimers she often asked to go home. Home, was her childhood home. She wanted to go back to Cambridge, Massachusetts where she was born and lived until she went to nursing school and again until she married my father.

While it  is a common occurrence in Altzheimer's patients, as her daughter who so desperately wanted her back, it always saddened me. I wanted her home of longing to be the one she created for me.

On another level though, I totally understood.

The ache of home lives in all of us. Places become a part of who are. Maya Angelou

I just finished reading Returning Home by Jerry Burger. In the book, Burger explains the psychology around revisiting childhood homes and shares respondents' experiences of such visits. It is a fascinating read.

Wanting to revisit childhood homes is quite common.

Lately I have been reminiscing about my childhood years. Maybe it is that my siblings and I are getting older and part of our conversations lately always seem to be connected to when we were young.

I want to revisit the places I have lived.

My family moved five times in my first 18 years. Yet there are only three homes that I long to visit; the houses I lived in between the ages of 5-12.  Burger explains this phenomenon in child development theory. We form our identity between the ages of five and twelve.

My longing to go back and see places I haven't laid eyes on in over forty years is about connecting to the past and perhaps remembering that little me is still a part of older me.

Never being a very patient soul and not being able to take a road trip in the next day or so, I used Google.

I  spent hours on google maps on a trip down memory lane.  I knew one of the homes has been torn down but I zoomed into the landscape.  I remembered myself doing cartwheel after cartwheel down the hill in the enormous front yard and then collapsing as the world spun. The other two houses equally enamored me as I remembered the little girl in me.

It was a fun trip on the internet but I plan on getting there soon and maybe even trying a few cartwheels.

Have you ever longed to go home?

Me in the front yard of the house that no longer stands! 










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