Just six weeks ago most of us made lists of promises to ourselves. Most of those promises now sit in a bad memory heap somewhere in the bandwidth of your mind.
Not keeping a promise to yourself sends a message to yourself that you are not important. While keeping a promise to yourself builds self confidence and personal integrity. No wonder why it feels so yucky when we break our resolutions.
It feels yucky when we don't keep our resolutions , however you didn't keep your promises to yourself for a pretty good reason.
Stop beating yourself up for not following through.
One reason we fail to keep promises to ourselves is because we make them too vague.
Get in shape
Lose weight
Write a book
Be more mindful of my eating.
None of those statements are actually promises and they are open to many interpretations. I confess, I wrote the last one as I contemplated 2016.
What the heck is mindful eating? I certainly wasn't thinking of meditating with every bite. I wanted to pay attention to what I ate more and make better food choices. I keep a food journal so I had hard evidence that my diet was a bit out of sync. My simple promise was to aim at eating 7-9 fruits and vegetables each day. What a difference in just a month. I have so much more energy!
Another reason why we don't succeed in keeping promises: It's all or nothing.
A writer friend had decided that she was going to write 750 words everyday. She was going strong and then her family got the stomach bug. Cleaning up vomit 24/7 doesn't leave much time for writing.
So she just gave up saying, "I am just going to have to wait to pursue that dream when my kids grow up and leave for college."
Life happens. There are really good reasons why we cant stick with a promise. Caring for a sick family tops them. However instead of giving up all together just lower the bar.
Stopping momentum to a grinding halt makes it harder to start again.
Maybe when things are stressful you lower the bar. Maybe she could have written 100 words or even just 50 or 25. It doesn't have to be all or nothing. It can be some thing. Something that doesn't halt the progress
A third reason we haven't kept a promise: Perhaps we really don't want to.
When I was about to turn 50 I decided I was going to train for a marathon. I enjoy running and the physical challenge excited me. I wanted to mark 50 with something big. What better feat than a marathon.
Four weeks in and I was done. I was starting to hate running. I didn't want to run a marathon.
I hate huge crowds.
I hate running with people.
When I run I like to stop to snap a picture or enjoy the view.
I am not marathon material!
So next time you make yourself a promise remember
*Keep it simple
*Do a little bit rather than nothing
*Know thyself.
Blessings,
Virginia
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