Scared is Sacred

A client ended her story with, " I am f**'n scared"

My response, "Of course you are f**n scared."

Silence.

Then she said, "I don't want to be scared."

Me, "But you are f**n scared, so let's start there."

I could not ask this lovely woman to feel anything else other than scared. With Love as my guide, I could not tell her how great her life was, how much she had to be grateful for, or that everything will work out. She was F**n scared. None of those words would have meant anything.

The only way to the other side of scared is to feel scared.

What is scared?

If you switch just two letters you get sacred.

Scared is sacred.

Scared is sacred because in our scariest times we call on something bigger than ourselves .

We call on God, universe, spirit or just yell HELP as we sob on the floor.

Rumi said the the wound  is where the light enters you.

The light comes in when we let ourselves be scared.

When the light comes the sacred begins.

"I don't want to be scared" becomes

"I have a team of helpers."
"I do have some things to be grafteful for"
"There are great things in my life"
"I am going to be okay"

Blessings,
Virginia

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The Absolute Best Way to Be Happier

 The absolute best way to be happier is to stop wanting to be right and to to stop making anyone (including  yourself) wrong.

When we strive to be right, we make someone else wrong. Then we enter a battle with another person.

When we make someone else right, we make ourselves wrong. Then we enter a battle within ourselves.

Innocent people die in battles. 

Rumi's quote goes on to say: 

When the soul lies down in that grass, the world is too full to talk of ideas, language ,even the phrase 'each other' doesn't make sense anymore.

When we make anyone including, ourselves wrong or right ,we isolate and forget each other. 

Years back in therapy, I was angrily discussing an incident from my childhood that many of my siblings remembered differently than I.

 In total despair, I asked her, "Who is right?" 

She responded, "All of you."

I had been carrying around so much anger making them wrong and myself right. The truth was we all just perceived it differently.  Once I let go of right/wrong my relationship with my siblings got better.

We all have the choice. Join me in picking happy over right or wrong.

The Same Gate

In a quest to quiet my mind I came across this poem.

Inside the great mystery that is,
We do not really own anything.

What is this competition we feel then,
before we go, one at a time, through the same gate. Rumi

It gave me shivers and brought me back to center where I know and you know all that is true.

*Time is precious. Tomorrow is not promised to any one of us.

* Life is short. Too short for comparisons. Too short to even spend one second believing we are less than or more than anybody else.

* Listen to your soul's calling and take immediate action.

* When the gate arrives, all that will really matter is how you choose to love right now.

Blessings,
Virginia

Invite Every One Of Your Emotions In

The Law of Attraction can seem to propose that a bad mood equals disaster.

Nothing could be further than the truth.

Emotions are what makes us human. Disaster happens when we judge, stuff down or feel ashamed of negative emotions.

I prefer to treat emotions as Rumi speaks of in this poem:

The Guesthouse

This being human is a guest house.
every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house of all of its furniture
still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice
meet them all at the door laughing and invite them in.

Be grateful for whatever comes
because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.

Jelaluddin Rumi Translated by Coleman Barks




Meet them all at the door laughing and invite them in


Anxiety is my trigger emotion. I cannot leave it unattended. Ignoring it brings me right smack into the dungeon of shame.  I have learned to welcome and laugh with anxiety as soon as it creeps into my solar plexus.

After taking a few deep healing breaths, I lovingly say, "Well hello Glob (I named it) here you are again."

From there I have

* Written letters to the Glob.

*Asked the Glob what it needed to teach me.

*Drawn the Glob and named it.

* Danced what if felt like to have the Glob.

* And then danced as if the anxiety was gone.

Like all storms, the anxiety dissipates.  Then the anxiety becomes something to be grateful for.

Emotions are not anything to fear.

They just are.

Welcome them all!

Blessings,
Virginia

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The Guest House by Rumi. My favorite

The Guest House

This being human is a guesthouse
Everyday a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness
some momentary awareness comes
from an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
of all of it's furniture,
still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes
Because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.