Single Mom Thriving: A Guide To Running Away

Do you long to run away?

Have you ever longed to escape from the 24/7 parenting?

Many years ago I had a single momma adventure planned. I had plane tickets. Child care was lined up. I was hitting the road.

For months, anytime I would feel tired or scared or overwhelmed , I would breathe in and think of  my upcoming trip.

Puke bug. Breathe in.

Sibling squabbles. Breathe in.

Having to be at three kid events at the same time. Breathe in.

Laundry. Dishes, Home Maintenance. Breathe in.

I could handle it all. I had an escape all planned out. I was running away.

Until...

The day before my departure, my child care fell through.

I. WAS. DEVASTATED.

Never ever plan an extended trip as a single mom without back up child care. 

My devastation taught me more than the importance back up child care.

My devastation taught me to plan a daily escape and a weekly running away.

Daily escapes are simply making sure I do something just for me. I even take a picture. You can watch that here

Running away is  taking weekly solo adventures. These adventures can be for a few hours or an entire day. The only rule is to run away somewhere.

Today  I ran away here:

And marked it with this:

One day soon I will go on that big trip. But for this past decade a daily escape and weekly running away has been more than enough.

Try it and let me know!

What are your best escapes and run aways as a single mom? Let us know in the comments.

I would love to have you in my email community. Sign up on the top right. I am excited to give you some goodies.

Blessings,
Virginia

Moving From Disappointment to Gratitude

There seems to be a false notion that a spiritual person rarely suffers from disappointment or anger or sadness. The problem with such a belief is that when you do strive for a more spiritual existence negative feelings that show up are viewed as bad and thus stuffed down.

I am a perfect example of such wacky thinking. Recently I suffered from what I perceived as an enormous let down. My children's father and his family were planning a vacation. I saw it as my first opportunity in years to take a mini vacation for myself.  I started saving whatever I could and began plotting and planning the 'Great Single Momma Escape". My escape crashed into pieces when I realized one of my children would be staying behind because of a play off game.

I cried.
I yelled.
I cried some more.
I complained.
I felt sorry for myself.
I complained some more.
I got mad at myself for feeling so angry and hurt and disappointed.
I got mad at myself some more.
I put on the martyr jacket and became grouchy and short tempered.

It was quite the few weeks and I grew tired of my self inflicted drama. So I stopped, put my butt down and prayed. Then I wrote it all out in brutal honesty and gave myself permission to feel those not so pretty feelings. I carefully chose one person to share my hurt. I chose the person who would empathize but not pity. It felt so great to allow myself to feel without the self- judgment and blame.

I was disappointed. Period. My trip was not going to happen. Period. Instead of  staying disappointed I tried to capture what I wanted from this trip. I wanted an escape from the 24/7 parenting. I wanted to feel carefree. I wanted time where all that mattered was me.

My next question was how could I feel that without the great single momma escape?  I tried to remember times I felt carefree, far away from the 24/7 parenting where all that mattered was me. That was the feeling I was trying to capture. I didn't need five days sans kiddos to get that. I could do it now. I could do a little bit of it every week even everyday.

So  I started running different beaches in Southern Maine. I am giving myself a few hours to hike different trails with my puppy. I am going to start biking again. The money I saved is now marked as 'Mini Single Momma Escapes'.

The disappointment has vanished. I am having a blast planning my mini  escapes.

I am now so excited to have this one child home alone with me for a few days. Next year he will be in college. What a gift it will be to have this time with just him.

                                           The view from my latest Single Momma Escape

                                                                I am so blessed