Tuesdays Tips: The Voices in Your Head

We all have them and often they are not kind.  Thoughts that say you that you are not good enough, smart enough, thin enough, clever enough, or 'fill in the blank' enough can easily take over and eradicate all of the goodness that is YOU.

I have a few tricks to tame those thoughts.

1. Louise Hay's mirror work.
       Every time I look at my reflection in the mirror I say some version of" I love you Virginia." First thing in the morning I add, "Today is going to be the best day ever." When I am feeling vulnerable and scared I change Virginia to Gin Gin. My Dad called me Gin Gin. Referring to myself as Gin Gin  reminds me that, although in heaven, my dad is still with me.

2. Take yourself lightly.
     Each day,sometimes more than once you will find me dancing like a goof nut. If you are breathing you can dance. When you are done dancing, laugh at yourself.  On prom day my daughter asked if I would run out to get her hairspray. I had just gotten out of the shower and had slathered Nivea all over my face. Without even looking in a mirror, I tossed on clothes and sped off to CVS.  I saw four people I know, the store was packed and the handsome man who looked at me received a flirtatious comment. When I got into he car I happened to catch a glance of myself. The right side of my face had white blotches of Nivea cream that I hadn't rubbed in. I laughed until I almost peed.

3. Name the pesky voice and talk to it.
      I call mine Negative Nellie. I have written numerous letters to Negative Nellie and I talk back to her. Naming and conversing with that pesky voice reminds me that I am NOT my thoughts.

4. Talk to precious, adorable little you.
     I keep an adorable picture of myself at 7 right next to my computer. I look at that picture as I write, pay bills, or peek at social media. If that pesky "not enough" thought pops up all I have to do is look at adorable me.

I am more than enough . You are more than enough .

Blessings, 

Virginia

Monday's Course in Miracles

My daily spiritual practice includes studying the Course in Miracles. Each Monday I share a quote from the text.

Let me recognize my problems have been solved. ACIM

Monday's Course in Miracles

My daily spiritual practice includes studying the Course in Miracles. Each Monday I share a quote from the text.

I am entitled to miracles . ACIM

Feng Shui Friday

I teach courses in Feng Shui and I also incorporate it in my coaching practice and in my own home. It is a wonderful tool in creating a more tranquil and enjoyable life. I am dedicating Friday's blog to all things Feng Shui.

This is the fifth of the nine lesson Baqua Map Course. The baqua map shows where the nine areas of your life (guas)are located in your home. Each lesson I give you tips on how to enhance one of the guas. This week I will cover the Health Center. (not to be confused with a gym).

The Health Center is the center of your home. Your entire well being centers around your health. In ancient homes that practiced Feng Shui, the center of the home was entirely empty and served as a courtyard or had a labyrinth there. It is an important place in your home.

Ways to enhance this area:
*Start with an intention. I use, "My health is constantly improving in all ways."
*Clear and declutter and bring energy to the space. Bring extra attention in keeping this area clutter free.
*The color yellow.
*Symbols and pictures that symbolize total health to you.
*Keep the center of every room clutter free.

Pretty soon we will have these blooming. Bring them in and display them in this area.

In the very center of my home I have this displayed. It symbolizes my center, Christ and Love.

Have fun! Remember Feng Shui is pronounced FUN Shway. Enjoy making your home  a mirror of your wonderful life.

Blessings,
Virginia

Monday's Course In Miracles

My daily spiritual practice includes meditating and praying with the Course of Miracles as my guide. Each (most) Mondays I share a quote from The Course In Miracles.

Love holds no grievances. When I let all of my grievances go I will know I am perfectly safe.

Mondays Course in Miracles

My daily spiritual practice includes studying The Course in Miracles. Each Monday I share a quote from the text.

Forgiveness is my function as the light of the world. ACIM

Feng Shui Friday

I teach courses on Feng Shui and I also incorporate it in my coaching practice and in my own home. It is a wonderful tool in creating a more tranquil and enjoyable life. I am dedicating Friday's blog to all things Feng Shui.

This is the fourth week of the nine week Bagua Map Course. The Bagua map shows where the nine areas of your life(guas) are located in your home. Each week I will give you tips on how to enhance one of the guas in your home. This week I will cover Journey Career.

The Journey Career gua is located in the front center of your home. Do you feel like you are living a purposeful life? Are you longing to fill your soul with passionate work? This is the place to go.

Ways to enhance this area.
*Start with an intention. I say, "God is always leading me in the right direction."
* Clean and declutter to bring energy into the room.
*The color black. It doesn't have to be the entire room. Even a black frame would do.
*Pictures of water.
*A mirror.

My journey career area is my living room. When you walk in you see this, one of my favorite spots in Maine. I took this photo. Art that you create has more Feng Shui energy than any art you could buy.

This saying also hangs in my living room. Not only does it have black in it, but it also is the perfect mantra for my chosen journey.

Have fun. Remember Feng Shui is pronounced FUN shway.. Enjoy making your home a mirror of your wonderful life.
Blessings,
Virginia

Tuesdays Tips: NOW means JOY

"I decided to enjoy my sandwich and my life changed."

A man I loved told me that with tears brimming.

His newborn was in NICU and it didn't look good. He and his wife at the time were doing NICU shifts. He was exhausted, scared, vulnerable, raw and found NOW in the decision to enjoy a sandwich. The best sandwich he ever ate.( His son is fine BTW)

NOW means JOY.

Joy sometimes happens in crisis.

The most beautiful snow fell on the day my divorce was finalized.

The best wave I ever rode was the day my dad died.

The best laugh I ever had was at my mom's wake.

The most beautiful summer day was when I had zero money.

If JOY can happen when NOW is at it's bleakest, how can joy and now be here in the mundane?

I am working on it and here is what I have found to work,

1. Set an alarm on your phone. ( whatever works for your schedule) When the alarm goes off look around you. Appreciate, Find things you love right there and then. Say Thank you.

2. Breathe right into your belly. Hold it. Breathe out while saying thank you.

3. Move your body as much as you can.   Please dance!

4. Get outside in any weather.

5. Get new sheets at the highest count you can afford. I splurged and got 500 count.  The softness is  glorious. Angels come while you sleep.

For me, at this moment NOW is a child with the flu, another with school issue and me with work issues. Yet NOW is a heart shaped snowmelt.

Blessings,

Virginia

Monday' Course in Miracles

My daily spiritual practice includes studying the Course in Miracles. Each Monday I share a quote from the text.


Now it is given me to understand that God is the light in which I see. Let me welcome vision and the happy world it will show me. ACIM

Tuesday's Tips

Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week
                                                                  Spanish Proverb


One hour ago I sat down to write this blog on procrastination.
I decided to have a snack first.
Then the dog needed to go out.
Then the  dog needed me to play a few rounds of catch.
Then the laundry needed to be folded.
Then the dishes needed to be put away.
Then I noticed the pile of mail to go out.
Then I thought of chopping some ice.
Then I laughed and came back to my office and just began.

We all procrastinate, oftentimes unconsciously.  Here are a few of my own strategies to keep that pesky procrastination at bay.

1.Recognize it. Be nice to yourself. Start again.
      I am aware that I tend to procrastinate, so I try to recognize it. It takes some detective work. All of those things I did instead of starting this blog were things that had to be done.Procrastination can look like work. It just isn't the work you intended to do.
When I see myself procrastinating, I laugh it off and start again. I don't beat myself up over it.

2. Start small.
       When I went back to my office, I told myself I was going to organize my notes I wrote yesterday in preparation for the blog. I am pretty sure that had I started with the intention of reviewing my notes, the desire to have a snack would never have occurred to me.

3. Set a timer. Reward yourself.
           A few years back, I took a few online graduate courses. I hadn't taken a graduate course in 15 years and I struggled with the APA formatting. That struggle lead to some serious procrastination.   To conquer the procrastination, I set a timer for 30 minutes and gave all of my attention to my coursework. When the timer went off I would reward myself. Then I would go back and do it all over again.

4. Let go of the outcome.
           Most procrastination is about perfectionism. No matter how many articles, blog posts, or courses I have written, the gremlin still invades. The gremlin is that voice in my head proclaiming, "That is horrible writing."
" Everybody will hate it."
 "This really sucks."
 In response to the gremlin, I remind myself that perfection is unattainable and what others think is none of my business.

5. Set a specific schedule.
            I  love to exercise. I just don't like to start. Thus, I made the habit to exercise every morning after my children get on the bus. It is nonegotiable and has made the starting so much easier.

6. Change your scenery.
 I like to go to the public library to get serious writing done. At the library there are no dishes, no laundry and no dog to distract me. Also sometimes a change of scenery means to get outside for fresh air. Of course, you have to come back. Use a timer.

Good luck and here's to making tomorrow the least busiest day of the week.

Blessings,
Virginia

Mondays Course in Miracles

My daily spiritual practice includes studying The Course in Miracles. Each Monday I share a quote from the text.


For you will be content only in magnitude, which is your home. ACIM

Monday's Course in Miracles

My daily spiritual practice includes studying The Course in Miracles. Each Monday I share a quote from the text.

God 's voice speaks to me all through the day. ACIM

Blessings,
Virginia

Feng Shui Friday

I teach courses on Feng Shui and I also incorporate it in my coaching practice and in my own home. It is a wonderful tool in creating a more tranquil and enjoyable life. I am dedicating Friday's blog on all things Feng Shui.

This is the second week of the nine week Bagua Map course. The Bagua map shows where the nine areas(guas) of life are positioned in your home. Each week I will give you tips on how to enhance one of the guas in your life in each area of your home. Last week I covered Knowledge and Self Cultivation. This week I will cover Elders.

Elders, which refers to all family, here and  beyond, is located in the middle left side of your home. If you are struggling with family members, have some unresolved issues with those who have passed or even if you aren't feeling like you are on a solid foundation this is the place to clean up and touch up. Family is the foundation of life regardless of age. I believe our ancestors want to offer us support in life.

Some ideas for enhancing the Elders gua:
*Start with an intention. Both of my parents have passed. When I miss them. This is the place I go and my intention is "Mom and Dad are always with me."
* Clean and declutter
* Use green as a color enhancer.
* Decorate with things made of wood.
*Put up favorite pictures of family members.

My Elders Gua is in my kitchen.  I painted it my favorite shade of green . One of my wooden decorations that I love.

I also change the fridge pictures every week. 

Enjoy and remember Feng Shui is pronounced FUN Shway. Have fun making your home a mirror of your wonderful life.

Blessings,

Virginia

Love

As I have noted previously, each new year I pick a word instead of making any resolutions. I try to use the word as a backdrop to everything  I do, say or think. Note I said TRY. I fall short quite often. Yet, as each year ends I am amazed at how much the word I chose enhanced my life.

This year I chose LOVE. I try to ask, as Robert Holden, suggests, "What would Love do in this situation?" It has been an amazing process, as Love always answers when I stop to ask and listen for the answer from within.

I have also been practicing more self love. As an extremely busy single mother of teenagers, I sometimes leave my needs out of the equation of daily life. It is a funny thing, self love. Our culture limits it to bubble baths and dark chocolate when it is so much more.

So what does self love look like?

Here is something I have learned so far, just three months in.

* Sometimes self love is having tea with a difficult emotion. You know, the one that keeps returning and you don't want to feel. It doesn't feel so loving . Yet when I let it be and actually feel the crappiness of it all,  it starts to dissipate.

*Self Love means hanging out with that feeling a bit longer to ask "What do you want to teach me?"

*Self love means waiting patiently for the answer.

The answer comes and it is always centered around more love.

Mondays Course In Miracles

My daily spiritual practice includes studying the Course in Miracles. Each Monday I share a quote.

Ask and it shall be given to you because it already has been given. Ask for light and learn you ARE light. ACIM

Feng Shui Friday

I teach courses on Feng Shui. I also incorporate it in my coaching practice and my own home. It is a wonderful tool in creating a more tranquil and enjoyable life.  I am dedicating Friday's blog to all things Feng Shui.

For the next nine weeks I will teach you about the The Bagua Map. The Bagua Map shows where the nine areas (guas) of life are positioned in your home. Each week I will give you tips on how to enhance one of  the nine areas of your home.

Place the map down on your home's layout with your front entrance being on the bottom. Don't worry about walls or the fact that your home may not be a perfect rectangle. Do remember , however, that guas outside of your home matter. For instance, my home has a screened in porch and deck jutting out of the middle back of the house. That means my Abundant Blessings and Love Marriage guas are outside. I will give suggestions on each gua if it happens to be outside.


Knowledge and Self Cultivation gua is in the front left of your home. This gua is about wisdom that comes from stillness and the peace and strong sense of self that inner wisdom brings.

If you are feeling scattered, unsure of yourself and you have lost your peaceful mojo this would be a great area to work on.

Some ideas for enhancing the Knowledge and Self Cultivation gua:
* Always start with an intention. When I clean and decorate my porch I say out loud," I trust my intuition and I always have time to be still."
* Clean and declutter
*A spot to be quiet and still.
* Pictures of places in nature you find meditative and peaceful
* Inspirational Sayings

My knowledge area is my front porch. As I said, outside matters too,

I drink my coffee out here most days, even in winter. Sitting on the bench I can see my garden which is somewhere under there.

I decorate the porch each season. We are still on the Valentine theme. My snowshoes remind me to take some me time in the woods.

Everyone who enters reads this .

Enjoy and remember Feng Shui is pronounced FUN Shway. Have fun making your home the mirror of your wonderful life.

Blessings,
Virginia

Three Steps to Achieve Any Goal

Close to two months have past since making those New Year resolutions. For most of us, the promises made haven't been kept.  In my own life and in many of my clients' experiences setting goals require more than making a promise. Goal setting involves asking a few questions.



1, First ask yourself why you want to achieve this goal. Spend some time with the answers that come up, paying special attention to your ego. For instance if you want to write a book to be heard or to become important. that is your ego talking. If you want to write because  you want to share your voice  or entertain then you are doing for the greater good. Also remember goals set for someone else don't work either.  Make the goal for you.

2. Secondly. What have you succeeded at in your life? Write the list.  Having a tangible list of the amazing things you have done will boost your confidence.

3. Finally ask yourself what is working in your life now? By appreciating now you stay in the present instead of living in the future. So often when we set goals we  get stuck in the future and we make our happiness about then instead of now. Choosing to be happy right where you are will make the process of achieving your goal more enjoyable.

Remember life is supposed to be fun. The joy is in the journey not the destination.

Complaining to Gratitude

If you don't like something change it. If you can't change it, change the way you think about it. Don't complain. Maya Angelou

I haven't made a Lenten promise in years but this year I decided to go back to my Catholic roots.
 I liked the idea of doing something for 40 days that would help me grow into a more loving person. I decided to stop complaining. Sounded easy enough as I am generally an optimistic person.

They say what you put your attention to grows. So as I was paying attention to my thoughts and my words for complaints, it should come as no surprise that there was A LOT of complaining going on.

Another snow storm?
Water is leaking where?
You need a ride when?
Another medical bill?

As I caught myself complaining, I forgot another even more important intention. My word for 2015 is LOVE. I wasn't being very loving to myself for complaining. In fact, I was being downright mean.

I could give up on my Lenten promise yet I really feel that complaining is a waste of time. I needed to tweak it just a bit. So now each time I catch myself complaining, I stop mid thought or mid sentence  and without judgement simply recognize that I am complaining. Then I find three things to appreciate.

No doubt about it, ice dams, six feet of snow, bills and teenagers have the ability to aggravate even Buddha himself. Yet they pale in comparison to all that is perfect.

                          Now that is one giant ice dam.

                                         YET

If I just turn my head, I get this glorious view.

Blessings,
Virginia

Monday's Course in Miracles

My daily spiritual practice includes studying The Course in Miracles. Each Monday I share a quote or a lesson from the text.

Light cannot penetrate through the walls you make to block it.
                                                                           ACIM

If You are Bored, You are Boring

Years back my children had the best pediatrician ever!

This doctor actually came to my house to check in when Alex had strep throat, Elise had scarlet fever and pneumonia, Sean had RSV and I had a UTI. He was a caring, wise, and generous doctor.

He always marveled at how my little ones entertained themselves during long doctor's visits.

I remember his words, "If you are bored, you are boring. Virginia, your kids will never be boring."

Thus whenever a child of mine says they are bored I celebrate. I do not intervene. (I do want to fix it ,of course, but I try my best to hold back).

Being bored has created squabbles, headaches and guilt.

Yet, being bored has created massive forts all around the house.

Being bored has created out of this world Lego creations.

Being bored has created amazing art work and mastering the art of stringing lacrosse sticks.

Being bored today got me a gorgeous wooden box with an ' I love you" on the side.

Our kids deserve to be bored.

Bored is the gateway to being  alone with oneself in a creative way.

Alone with oneself is never boring. It is a life skill.